Bob and Midge Pinciotti

Midge: Women have to pretend to be weak and fragile so that men can feel superior.
Donna: That’s insane! If women don’t wanna stand up for themselves, men will always control the world.
Midge: Oh, honey, men don’t control the world.
Battle of the Sexist

Bob: And no boys. They only want one thing and it's a dirty, dirty thing they want. 'Nuff said.
Eric's Burger Job

Midge: Bob doesn’t want me to take this class, but it sounds so exciting! It’s all about female empowerment. It’s called "The Woman Warrior: Fighting female stereotypes." That’s the professor, isn’t he cute?
Stolen Car

Midge: You know, the unexamined self is an unfulfilled self.
Bob: How can you be unfulfilled? I put a roof over your head, I pay the bills, I take care of you.
Midge: Yeah, but what do I do?
Bob: You fill out that sweater real nice.
Midge: What?! You...Oh!
Bob: What? That's a compliment.
That Wrestling Show

Therapist: Midge, let me stop you right there. I know we've had only one session, but from what I'm hearing, everything you say is completely right and everything that Bob says is completely wrong.
Midge: I think I'm gonna like therapy!
That Wrestling Show

Donna: Okay. A friend of mine, and it’s not me, is pregnant.
Midge, with a gasp: Is it you?
The Pill

Donna: Okay, next question. What has this job taught you?
Bob: One thing I've learned, midgets make money. I don't know why, but, people see a midget, they wanna buy a blender. I guess it reminds them that life is short.
Career Day

Bob: All right, let me tell you what I see. You see clowns, I see your tuition at Harvard. You see your dad as a ring master, I see you going to grad school. You see a chimpanzee in a tutu - okay, that just makes me laugh.
Career Day

Bob: Midge, you don't know the first thing about having a business.
Midge: But there's no risk, Bob!
Bob: Why not?
Midge: Because it's your money!
The Prom

Bob: Hit him with a banjo.
Red gives him the Look.
Red: A banjo, Bob?
Bob: What? I'm helping!
Red: Where's he gonna to get a banjo?
Bob: I dunno! But I saw a guy get hit with a banjo once, and he went down.
Red: Hitting a guy with a banjo is dirty. You want to knee him in the groin.
Bob: You can hit him in the groin with a banjo.
A New Hope

Jackie: Mrs. Pinciotti, can you please tell Donna I'm right? Isn't it cool when men act like they own you?
Midge: Oh, yeah!
Donna: Mom, what about all those feminist classes you took?
Midge: Oh, right. No.
A New Hope

Bob: Since my business went bankrupt, I've got a lot of time. I mainly use it to nap and cry.
Dine and Dash

Midge: So it's either a UFO, or I rubbed my eyes too hard.
Dine and Dash

Bob: Midgy, we're going home.
Midge: But I have gin!
Bob: We're playing bridge!
Dine and Dash

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