Why is that every conversation you people have has the word "corpse" in it?

Some Assembly Required

Buffy, sitting on top of a gravestone: C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting.

Giles, talking to a chair and stuttering quite a bit: Wwhat I'm proposing is, um... and I don't mean to appear indecorous, is, is, um, a, a social engagement, um, a, a, a, a date, if you're amenable.

Buffy: You also might wanna avoid words like "amenable" and "indecorous," y'know. Speak English, not whatever they speak in, um...
Giles: England?
Buffy: Yeah. You just say, "Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing."
Giles: Oh, thank you, Cyrano.
Buffy: I'm not finished. Then you say, "How do you feel about Mexican?"
Giles: About Mexicans?
Buffy: Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay.
Giles: Oh. Right.
Xander: So this chair-woman. We are talking Ms. Calendar, right?
Giles: What makes you think that?
Xander: Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows that you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her.
Buffy: And she's the only woman we've actually ever seen speak to you. Add it all up and it all spells "duh."
Xander: Now, is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?
Giles: You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business.
Xander: Y'know, because that whole stork thing is a smoke screen.

Giles: Grave robbing? That's new. Interesting.
Buffy: I know you meant to say gross and disturbing.
Giles: Yes, yes, yes of course. Uh, terrible thing. Must, must put a stop to it.

Cordelia: It is not fair that they're making participation in this year's science fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to.
Willow, reading Cordelia's entry: "The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable"?
Cordelia: I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend, all right?

Cordelia: Eww! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word "corpse" in it?

Xander: So, we dig up some graves tonight?
Willow: Oh, boy! A field trip!

Willow on Daryl: All of the girls were crazy for him.
Buffy: And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence.

Buffy: We were investigating. Somebody's been digging up the bodies of dead girls.
Angel: I know. We found some of them.
Buffy: You mean, like, two of the three?
Angel: I mean, like, some of them. Like parts.

Buffy: I don't get it. Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls, only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint.
Angel: Well, what I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts.
Buffy: Could this get yuckier?
Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat.
Buffy: Question answered.

Buffy: I don't get it. Why would anybody want to make a girl?
Xander: You mean when there's so many pre-made ones just laying around? The things we do for love.

Buffy: But it's not doable. I mean, making someone from scraps, actually making them live.
Willow: If it is, my science project's definitely coming in second this year.

Willow: Buffy? Don't be too hard on Chris. I mean, he's not a vampire.
Buffy: No. He's just a ghoul.

Ms Calendar: I don't know what it is about football that does it for me. I mean, it lacks the, the grace of basketball, the, uh, poetry of baseball. At its best it's unadorned aggression. It's such a rugged contest.
Giles, laughing: Rugged. American football.
Ms Calendar: And that's funny because?
Giles: No! I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on its virility should feel compelled to strap on forty pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby.
Ms Calendar: Is this your normal strategy for a first date? Dissing my country's national pastime?
Giles: Did you just say "date"?
Ms Calendar: You noticed that, huh?

Eric: You're gonna feel a little pinch, maybe some discomfort around the neck area. But don't worry. When you wake up, you'll have the body of a seventeen-year-old. In fact, you'll have the body of several.

Giles: Sorry about all this.
Ms Calendar: It's okay. Although a good rule of thumb for a first date is, don't do anything so exciting that it'll be hard to top on the second date.
Giles: Believe it or not, since I've moved here to live on top of the Hellmouth, the events of this evening actually qualify as a slow night. Did you just say "second date"?
Ms Calendar: You noticed that, huh?

Xander: Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that the world is a giant game of musical chairs, and the music's stopped and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?
Willow: All the time.
Cordelia: Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic, and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything that I could ever do to...
Xander: Do you mind? We're talking here. (Cordelia leaves in a huff) So where were we?
Willow: Wondering why we never get dates.
Xander: Yeah, so why do you think that is?

Buffy: I don't love Xander.
Angel: Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight.