This ain't no tea party, princess.

Halloween

Xander: A bunch of little kids need people to take them trick-or-treating. Sign up and get your own pack of sugar-hyped little runts for the night.
Buffy: Yikes. I'll stick to vampires.

Buffy: Great. I was gonna stay in and veg. The one night a year things are supposed to be quiet for me.
Xander: Halloween quiet? Oh, I figured it'd be a big old vamp scare-apalooza.
Buffy: Not according to Giles. He swears that tomorrow night is, like, dead for the undead. They stay in.
Xander: Those wacky vampires! That's why I love 'em! They just keep you guessing!

Larry: You and Buffy, you're just friends, right?
Xander: I like to think of it less as a friendship and more as a solid foundation for future bliss.
Larry: So, she's not your girlfriend?
Xander: Alas, no.

Xander: A black eye heals, Buffy, but cowardice has an unlimited shelf life.

Buffy: You're beginning to scare me, Giles. You need to have some fun. You know, there's this place you can go, right, and you sit in the dark, and there are these moving pictures, right, and the pictures tell a story.
Giles: Yes, yes, ha, ha, very droll. I'll have you know that I have very many relaxing hobbies.
Buffy: Such as?
Giles: Well, um... I enjoy cross-referencing.
Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts, or do you send them out?

Cordelia on Angel: So what's his story anyway? I mean, I never see him around.
Willow: Not during the day, anyway.
Cordelia: Oh, please. Don't tell me he still lives at home. Like, he has to wait for his dad to get back before he can take the car?
Buffy: Cordelia, I think his parents have been dead for a couple of hundred years.
Cordelia: Oh, good. I mean... What?
Buffy: Angel's a vampire. I thought you knew.
Cordelia: Oh, he's a vampire. Of course! But the cuddly kind. Like a Carebear with fangs?
Willow: It's true.
Cordelia: You know what I think? I just think you're trying to scare me off 'cause you're afraid of the competition. Look, Buffy, you may be hot stuff when it comes to demonology or whatever, but when it comes to dating, I'm the Slayer.

Drusilla:: Do you know what I miss? Leeches.

Cordelia: Is Mr. I'm-the-lead-singer-I'm-so-great-I-don't-have-to-show- up-for-my-date-or-even-call gonna be there?
Oz: Yeah, y'know, he's just going by "Devon" now.

Buffy as an 18th century woman: A DEMON! A DEMON! A DEMON! (76K)
Willow: That's not a demon. It's a car.
Buffy: What does it want?
Xander: Is this woman insane?
Willow: She's never seen a car.
Xander: She's never seen a car?
Willow: She's from the past.
Xander: And you're a ghost.
Willow: Yes! Now let's get inside.
Xander: I just want you to know that I'm taking a lot on faith here.

Willow on Buffy: She couldn't've dressed up like Xena?

Willow: Okay, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school, and we're your friends. Well, sort of.

Spike: Well! This is just... neat! (60K)

Xander: She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia.
Buffy: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't have it. I bathe quite often!
Xander: How do you explain this?
Buffy: I don't! I was brought up a proper lady. I wasn't meant to understand things. I'm just meant to look pretty, and then someone nice will marry me. Possibly a Baron.
Xander: This ain't no tea party, princess. Sooner or later you're gonna have to fight! (19K)
Buffy: Fight these low creatures? I'd sooner die.
Xander: Then you'll die.

Cordelia to Angel: They don't know who they are, everyone's turned into a monster, it's a whole big thing. How are you?

Cordelia: She'll be okay.
Angel: Buffy would be okay. Whoever she is now, she's helpless.

Spike on Buffy: Somewhere out here is the tenderest meat you've ever tasted, and all we have to do is find her first!

Giles: Janus. Roman mythical god.
Willow: What does this mean?
Giles: Primarily the division of self. Male and female, light and dark.
Ethan: Chunky and creamy. Oh, no, sorry, that's peanut butter.

Xander: It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure.

Ethan: What? No hug? Aren't you pleased to see your old mate, Rupert?
Giles: I'm just surprised I didn't guess it was you. This Halloween stunt stinks of Ethan Rayne.
Ethan: Yes, it does, doesn't it? Don't wish to blow my own trumpet, but it's genius. The very embodiment of "be careful what you wish for."
Giles: It's sick, brutal, and it harms the innocent.
Ethan: Oh, and we all know that you are the champion of innocents and all things pure and good, Rupert. It's quite a little act you've got going here, old man.
Giles: It's no act. It's who I am.
Ethan: Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of. But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from.

Spike: Look at you. Shaking. Terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb. I love it.

Buffy: You know what? It's good to be me.

Cordelia: You guys remember what happened?
Xander: It was way creepy. It's like I was there, but I couldn't get out.
Cordelia: Yeah, I know the feeling. This outfit's totally skintight.

Cordelia, as Angel ignores her in favour of Buffy: Hello?! It felt like I was talking, my lips were moving and...
Xander: Give it up, Cordy. You're never gonna get between those two. Believe me, I know.

Ethan's note to Giles: Be seeing you...

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