One normal life, coming up.

Inca Mummy Girl

Xander: Hold on a sec. So, this person who's living with you for two weeks is a man. With man parts. This is a terrible idea.
Willow: What about the beautiful melding of two cultures?
Xander: There's no melding, okay? He better keep his parts to himself.

Xander: Uh, that's Rodney Munson. He's God's gift to the bell curve. What he lacks in smarts he makes up in lack of smarts.
Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up every day for five years.
Xander: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.

Buffy: I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?
Xander: The important thing is you believe that.

Museum Guide: 500 years ago, the Incan people chose a beautiful teenage girl to become their princess.
Willow: I hope this story ends with, "And she lived happily ever after."
Xander: No, I think it ends with, "And she became a scary, discolored, shriveled mummy."

Giles: You have responsibilities that other girls do not.
Buffy: Oh! I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices, blah, blah, bity blah, I'm so stuffy, gimme a scone.
Giles: It's as if you know me.

Xander: So, I guess we're dance-bound. Cool. I think I can get my mom's car, so I'm wheel man.
Buffy: I thought you were taking Willow.
Xander: Well, yeah, I'm gonna take Willow, but I'm not gonna take Willow. In the sense of "take me." See, with you we're three and everybody's safe. Without you, we're two.
Buffy: Ah, and we enter dateville. Romance, flowers...
Xander: Lips.
Buffy: Oh, come on. In all the years you've know Willow, you've never thought about her lips?
Xander: Buffy, I love Willow. And she's my best friend. Which makes her not the kind of girl who I think about her lips that much. She's the kind of girl that... I'm best friends with.

Willow: Maybe Rodney just stepped out for a smoke.
Xander: For twenty-one hours?
Willow: It's addictive, you know.
Giles: We'll deal with that when we've ruled out evil curses.
Buffy: One day I'm gonna live in a town where evil curses are just generally ruled out without even saying.

Ampata: You must teach me everything about your life. I want to fit in, Buffy. Just like you. A normal life.
Buffy: One normal life. Comin' up.

Devon: Let me guess: not your type? What does a girl have to do to impress you?
Oz: Well, it involves a feathered boa and a theme to "A Summer Place." I can't discuss it here.
Devon: You're too picky, man. Do you know how many girls you could have? You're lead guitar, Oz. It's currency!
Oz: I'm not picky. You're just impressed by any pretty girl that can walk and talk.
Devon: She doesn't have to talk.

Xander on twinkies: Good, huh? And the exciting part is that they have no ingredients that a human can pronounce. So it doesn't leave you with that heavy "food" feeling in your stomach.

Ampata: You are strange.
Xander: Girls always tell me that. Right before they run away.

Buffy: Ampata's only staying two weeks.
Willow: Yeah. And then Xander can find someone else who's not me to obsess about. At least with you I knew he didn't have a shot. Well, you know, I have a choice. I can spend my life waiting for Xander to go out with every other girl in the world until he notices me, or I can just get on with my life.
Buffy: Good for you.
Willow: Well, I didn't choose yet.

Buffy: No! Bad plan. I have other plans. Dance plans. (sighing) Cancelled plans.

Xander: Okay, I have something to tell you. And it's kind of a secret, and it's, um, a little bit scary. I like you. A lot. And I want you to go to with me the dance.
Ampata: Why was that so scary?
Xander: Well, because you never know if a girl's gonna say yes, or if she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

Xander: You're not a praying mantis, are you? ... Sorry, someone else.

Giles: Thank heavens you're home.
Buffy: Yup! Not at the dance. Not with my friends. Not with a life.

Buffy: How 'bout this one? What kind of girl travels with a mummified corpse? And doesn't even pack a lipstick?

Buffy: Come on! Can't you put your foot down?
Giles: It is down.
Buffy: One of these days you're gonna have to get a grownup car.

Buffy: I'll say one thing for you Incan mummies. You don't kiss and tell.

Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least not to begin with, and... I do think she cared about you.
Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of people thing would have been a strain on the relationship.