Being popular is not just my right, but my responsibility.

Invisible Girl

Teacher: How does what Shylock says here about being a Jew relate to our discussion about the anger of the outcast in society?
Cordelia: Well, how about color me totally self-involved?
Teacher: Care to elaborate?
Cordelia: Yeah. With Shylock it's whine, whine, whine, like the whole world is about him. He acts like it's justice, him getting a pound of Antonio's flesh. It's not justice, it's yicky.
Teacher: But has Shylock suffered? What's his place in Venice society?
Willow: Well, everyone looked down on him.
Cordelia: That is such a twinkie defense. Shylock should get over himself. People who think their problems are so huge craze me. Like this time I sort of ran over this girl on her bike. It was the most traumatizing event of my life, and she's trying to make it about her leg! Like my pain meant nothing.

(Cordelia hands out chocolates so that people will vote for her)
Harmony: "C." For Cordelia?
Cordelia: No, "C" for Wilma, little brain! Of course "C" for Cordelia! This way people will associate me with something sweet! Here's a chocolate... (notices that it's Buffy she's handing it to) Oh. I don't think I need the loony-fringe vote.
Buffy: Well, I don't even like chocolates. Okay, that was the lamest comeback of our times.

Snyder: Dead? Of course not. What are you, ghouls? There are no dead students here. This week.

Buffy: Monsters don't usually send messages. It's pretty much crush, kill, destroy.

Xander: What, so there's homework now? When did that happen?
Buffy: It's all part of the glamorous world of vampire slayage.
Xander: Well, what part do you have?
Buffy: Gonna find out what I can about Mitch. This attack wasn't random.
Xander: Well, I want that part.
Buffy: Fine. You can do it. Ask around, talk to his friends. Talk to Cordelia!
Xander: Talk to Cordelia? So, research, huh?

Xander: Well, yeah, I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, but I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room.

Xander: Oh, hey, do you wanna come to our place tonight for dinner? Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place.
Willow: Xander, do you guys even have a stove?

Giles: A vampire casts no reflection.
Angel: Don't worry. I'm not here to eat.
Giles: Buffy told me you don't feed from humans anymore.
Angel: Not for a long while.
Giles: Is that why you're here? To see her?
Angel: I can't. It's, uh... It's too hard for me to be around her.
Giles: A vampire in love with a Slayer! It's rather poetic! In a maudlin sort of way.

Angel: Oh, I don't know. Looking in the mirror everyday and seeing nothing there. It's an overrated pleasure.

Cordelia: God! I am never sitting through another one of those alumni lectures again. Two hours of "My Trek Through Nepal." Hello! There is nobody caring.
Marcie: And did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it looks like a cabbage.
Cordelia: And those slides! "That's a mountain. That's a mountain, too. Now look at some mountains."
Harmony: I swear, he had three slides and just used them over and over.
Marcie: I know, but did you guys see his toupee? I mean, it was, like, the worst!
Harmony: We're talking, okay?
Cordelia: Oh! And did you guys check out that extreme toupee? Yeah, that's realistic. It looked like a cabbage.

Cordelia: Thank you for making the right choice, and for showing me how much you all love me. Being this popular is not just my right, but my responsibility, and I want you to know I take it very seriously.

Cordelia: Ask not what your school can do for you, ask: Hey! What am I wearing to the Spring Fling?

Giles: Uh, once again I teeter at the precipice of the generation gap.

Buffy: So, no one noticed her, and now she's invisible.
Xander: What, she turned invisible because no one noticed her?
Giles: Of course! I've been investigating the mystical causes of invisibility when I should have looked at the quantum mechanical! Physics.
Buffy: I think I speak for everyone here when I say, huh?

Cordelia: I know that you share this feeling that we have for each other, deep down...
Willow: Nausea?

Cordelia: Somebody is after me! They just tried to kill Ms. Miller. She was helping me with my homework. And Mitch! And Harmony?! This is all about me! Me, me, me!
Xander: Wow! For once she's right!

Buffy: Well, it's not that simple, it's a person, it's... (shows her the yearbook) It's this person. Now, do you have any idea why she'd be so...
Cordelia: Oh, God! Is she really wearing Laura Ashley?
Xander: So homicidal?

Cordelia: Nothing is keeping me from the Bronze tonight!
Xander: Uh, can we just revel in your fabulous lack of priorities?

Cordelia: So, are you saying she's invisible because she's so unpopular?
Buffy: That about sums it up.
Cordelia: Bummer for her. It's awful to feel that lonely.
Buffy: Hmm. So you've read something about the feeling?
Cordelia: Hey! You think I'm never lonely because I'm so cute and popular? I can be surrounded by people and be completely alone. It's not like any of them really know me. I don't even know if they like me half the time. People just want to be in a popular zone. Sometimes when I talk, everyone's so busy agreeing with me, they don't hear a word I say.
Buffy: Well, if you feel so alone, then why do you work so hard at being popular?
Cordelia: Well, it beats being alone all by yourself.

Xander: Can you say "gulp"?

Buffy: You know what you were saying before? I understand. Somehow it doesn't seem to matter how popular you are when...
Cordelia: You were popular? In what alternate universe?

Cordelia: What did you do to my face?
Marcie: Your face. That's what this is all about, isn't it? Your beautiful face. That's what makes you shine just a little bit brighter than the rest of us. We all want what you have. To be noticed, remembered. To be seen.
Cordelia: What are you doing?
Marcie: Well, I'm fulfilling your fondest wish. I'm gonna give you a face no one will ever forget.

Marcie: Let me see. I think we should start with your smile. I think it should be wider.

Buffy: You know, I really felt sorry for you. You've suffered. There's one thing I really didn't factor into all this. You're a thundering loony!

Cordelia: Look, um, I didn't get a chance to say anything yesterday with the coronation and everything... but, um, I guess I just wanted to say thank you, all of you.
Xander: That's funny, 'cause she looks like Cordelia.