She irons her jeans. She's evil!

Living Conditions

Kathy: I noticed that some of my milk was missing. Did you...
Buffy: Oh! Yeah, actually, I did. I meant to...
Kathy: No! It's totally ok, I was just wondering.
Buffy: Yeah, I was making my coffee and I just...
Kathy: Buffy, it's fine. I just wanted to make sure... that we didn't have a thief or something.
Buffy: Like who? Sid the Wiley Dairy Gnome?

Buffy: Did you just hear something?
Willow: I'm chewing my gum kinda loud.
Buffy: That's not it.
Willow: My sneakers are squeaky.
Buffy: I'm looking for something lurky here, Will.
Willow: Oh. Sorry, no.

Willow: Happy hunting.
Buffy: Wish me monsters.

Buffy: You run?
Giles: And jump. And bend. And occasionally frolic.
Click here for a sound file

Buffy: Okay, you're not having one of those mid-life things, are you? 'Cause I'm still going "ick" from the last time you tried to recapture your youth.

Buffy: What are you doing today?
Giles: Uh, it's a good day for me, actually. A friend of mine recently acquired an original Gutenberg demonography... and it suddenly occurred to me that you've never once asked me what my day's plans were, which leads me to inquire whether you're feeling entirely yourself.
Buffy: That's not true. I ask about you all the time. Okay, well, maybe the words don't actually make it out of my mouth, but I think about it.

Giles: Buffy, living with somebody is never easy. Especially for an only child.
Buffy: Giles, listen to me, ok? When she sharpens her pencils she measures them with a ruler to make sure they're all the same size.
Giles: Which is fussy, I agree, but everybody has their idiosyncrasies. You'd do well to learn to tolerate them.
Buffy: Or I'll end up an old lady who can only live with cats?
Giles: Something like that.

Parker: Freshman, huh?
Buffy: Is it that obvious?
Parker: There are signs. For instance, people who've been around for awhile know how to use their dining hall card.
Buffy: It's not for food?
Parker: Work it right and you can get three meals worth, which equals fewer punch cards used annually.
Buffy: And more cash from Dad which you get to keep for yourself.
Parker: Right! The goal is to polish off as much as humanly possible at one sitting. Enough to get you through the rest of the day, if necessary, while chipmunking items for future consumption.
Buffy: Ahh, got it.
Parker: Excess dry goods fit nicely in a backpack or your pocket. The wetter items - macaronies, your turkey loaf - then you're into ziplocks. It's not for beginners.
Buffy: I'll just take it slow.

Xander: Hey, say hi to non-college guy.
Buffy: Not that I mind, but don't non-college guys usually populate the non-campus?

Xander: So, what else is up with the Buff, any vamp action?
Buffy: I did get jumped by a demon of non-specific origin last night.
Xander: Yeah? Something apocalypse-y? Do we need to assemble the scooby gang?
Buffy: No, but thank you for asking.
Xander: I just got way too excited, didn't I?
Buffy: You just need to get out of the basement a little more there, Xand.

Kathy: Hmm hmm, sounds like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.
Buffy: Hmm hmm, and guess what? You were next to it.

Willow on Buffy: Ok, so that was the evil twin, right? 'Cause she was bordering on Cordelia-esque.

Kathy: Do you know what your problem is, Buffy.
Buffy: You?
Kathy: Hardly. Your problem is you're spoiled. Maybe the world revolved around you where you used to live, but it's share time now.
Buffy: Share time, huh? Fine! I'll show you share time.

Willow: And Buffy's completely being not herself. If it wasn't for this English paper I'd be there right now. Um, listening. Doing the girly best friend thing.
Oz: Well, I can do that.
Willow: You can?
Oz: Well, I'm not saying we'll braid each others hair - probably - but I can hang with her, watch for signs she's going over the edge.

Buffy: ...so then Kathy's like, "It's share time." And I'm like, "Oh yeah? Share this!" (She punches the air.)
Oz: So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her.
Buffy: Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?
Oz: Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy.
Buffy: Kathy does. She deserves to be locked in an invisible box and blown away by an imaginary wind and... and...
Oz: Forced to wear a binding unitard?
Buffy: Yeah, the itchy kind, it's perfect.
Oz: Just here to help.

Willow: Buffy, this has to stop. I mean I get it, I have a sucky roomie, too. But you just have to deal.
Buffy: You're right, I've been thinking a lot about this and it's clear to me now.
Willow: Good, that's better.
Buffy: Kathy's evil. I'm an evil fighter. It's simple... I'm gonna have to kill her.

Willow: Toenails?
Buffy: Evil toenails. I took them off the floor last night when she was in the bathroom. She thought I was asleep.
Willow: Good thinking, 'cause in the middle of the night those toenails could have attacked you and left little half-moon marks all over your body.

Willow, on the phone: Giles, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah, I think she's feeling a little... insane. No, not bitchy crazy, more like homicidal maniac crazy. So I told her to come to you. 'Kay?

Xander: Buffy, this hurts me more than it hurts you.
Buffy: Not yet, but it will.

Buffy: She has parts that can grow after they're detached. She irons her jeans. She's evil. She has to be destroyed.
Giles: I fear the demon that Buffy met in the woods has somehow possessed her.
Buffy: Lite FM. Love songs. Nothing but love songs.
Xander to Giles: You think?

Kathy: I'm sorry, okay? I left my dimension to go to college and they sent these guys after me.
(Cut to Giles, reading: "But while the Mok'tagar can assume many forms and guises, including human, they can always be recognized by others of their kind due to the lack of a soul.")
Kathy: ...so I'm borrowing yours.
Buffy: Without even asking.
Kathy: Tonight, when they come looking for me, they'll take the one without a soul.
Buffy: Well, thank God I won't have to watch you floss anymore.

Xander: Oow... why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self respecting bachelor?

Taparrich: There you are. Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in, young lady?
Kathy: I'm not going back!
Taparrich: Don't take that tone with me.
Kathy: I'm 3000 years old! When are you going to stop treating me like I'm 900?
(Remind anyone of Trelane?? "I don't wanna come in! I'm a General!")

Buffy: Except for the soul sucking thing I bet Kathy was pretty regular, as far as roomies go.