"How've you been?"
"Rat. You?"
"Dead."
"Oh."

Smashed

Spike: I thought they were demons.
Buffy: Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher.
Spike: Remind me not to help you.
Buffy: More often?

Willow: What's the matter, Amy? You lonely? Oh, we need to get you a nice companion rat that you can love, play with, and grow attached to, until one day they leave you for no good reason.
(No good reason?? Tara left for no good reason? Okay, I am editorializing and that should stop, but.. no good reason??)

Andrew: See, that's cool. How come he [Warren] gets to play with all the cool stuff?
Jonathan: Because I'm allergic to methane and you're still afraid of hot things?
Andrew: I know.
Jonathan: Besides, the tank kept making both of us tip over, remember?

Jonathan: Hey, that's really neato and stuff, but in the meantime, you know ... ow!

Amy: Everything feels weird. I mean, it's like ... I felt like I was in that cage for weeks. But it can still be okay ... right? I-I can still get into the swing of things, like ... prom's coming up. I'm so hoping Larry would ask me. We would make such a splash at... Oh. Oh God. He hasn't asked someone else, has he?
Willow: Uh, Amy ... three things we have to talk about. One, Larry's gay. Two, Larry's dead. And three, high school's kinda over.

Buffy: Hi. How've you been?
Amy: Rat. You?
Buffy: Dead.
Amy: Oh.

Amy: It's crazy, all the things that've happened since I went away.
Buffy: No kidding.
Amy: Snyder got eaten by a snake ... high school got destroyed...
Buffy: Oh, Gatorade has a new flavor. Blue.
Amy: See? Head spinning. People getting frozen ... Willow's dating girls ... and did you hear about Tom and Nicole?!

Tara: Good god, that's a lot of shake. I mean, I know, part of our big "movie and milkshake fun day," but good God, that's a lot of shake.
Dawn: Helps to wash down the Raisinettes.
Tara: Promise me that you will eat something green tonight. Leafy green, not gummie green.

Willow: Guys, I'm fine. What's the deal with--
Anya: Oh, for crying out loud. This is bizarre. You're all 'la la la!' with the magic, and the not talking, like everything's normal, when we all know that Tara up and left you and now everyone's scared to say anything to you. Except me.

Warren: We're kind of in the middle of something.
Spike: Well, you can play holodeck another time. Right now, I'm in charge.
Warren: Yeah, what are you gonna do if we don't especially feel like maybe playing your -- What are, wait, what are you doing?
Spike, picking up a Star Wars action figure: Examine my chip, or else Mister Fett here is the first to die.
Jonathan: Hey, all right, let's not do anything crazy here.
Andrew: That's a limited edition 1979 mint condition Boba Fett!

Andrew: You're English, right?
Spike: Yeah.
Andrew: I've seen every episode of Doctor Who. Not Red Dwarf, though, 'cause, um...
Jonathan: 'Cause it's not out yet on DVD.
Andrew: Right. It's not out on DVD.
(Another editorial comment: Um, neither is Doctor Who...)

Willow: I know. Xander engaged, I couldn't believe it either.
Amy: It's just so weird. So what's she like?
Willow: Thousand-year-old capitalist ex-demon with rabbit phobia.
Amy: Well, that's so his type.

Xander: Aha! I got it! Here's our villain right here! ... What?
Anya: That's a D&D manual, sweetie.

Buffy: I know. But I think she'll be fine. You know, it's Willow. She of the level head.
Anya: Well, those are the ones you have to watch out for the most. Responsible types.
Buffy: Right, she might go crazy and start alphabetizing everything.

Spike: You shouldn't be so flip, luv.
Buffy: What are you gonna do, walk behind me to death?

Buffy: Your job is to kill the slayer. But all you can do is follow me around making moon eyes.
Spike: I'm in love with you.
Buffy: You're in love with pain. Admit it. You like me because you enjoy getting beat down. So really, who's screwed up?
Spike: Hello! Vampire! I'm supposed to be treading on the dark side. What's your excuse?