He did a spell to make us think he's cool?
That is so cool!

Superstar

Xander: Quick draw's about more than speed. It's also about pointing a stake the right way. And there can be splinter issues. It is a true test of dexterity.
Anya, with a carton of milk: Can you open this?
Xander: No, I tear it and it gets all sloshy.

Buffy: Thanks for doing this, Jonathan, I wouldn't ask but...
Jonathan: Hey, don't worry about it. Nest full of vampires, you come get me, okay. Box full of puppies, that's more of a judgement call.

Xander: I think we did great. We knocked em dead. Which they already were.
Willow: We knocked 'em deader!

Willow: Oh, she was great! Twang! Poof! (explaining)That was the sound - the crossbow, vampire dusting.

Willow: Oh yeah I know she's not over the whole Riley sleeping with Faith thing. You know I mean - Faith's insides and Buffy's outsides when her insides were out.

Jonathan: I mean you have this amazing connection with him, and then at the one moment when it matters the most, he looks into your eyes and he doesn't even see that it's not you looking back at him.
Buffy: There's no way he could know. I mean you don't just look at someone and say "Hey, that's not your body, get out of that body with your hands up!"

Anya: Did not.
Xander: Last night, with me, you said "Jonathan."
Anya: It was a moan!
Xander: Fine! You moaned "Jonathan!"
Anya: Nuh uh! It was like "unnh-unnh-atha."
Xander: Maybe it was ahh-onathan. Still not fluffing up the old ego.

Adam: These are lies. None of this is real. The world has been changed. It's intriguing but it's wrong.
Vampire: Feels okay to me.
Adam: You're under his spell just like the others. I seem to be the only one who is not.
Vampire: Really? And what makes you so special?
Adam: I'm aware. I know every molecule of myself and everything around me. No one - no human, no demon - has ever been as awake and alive as I am. You are all just shadows.

Buffy: May I ask you something? Does it every seem just a little strange that Jonathan is so good at everything?
Anya: He's Jonathan. (Tries to read her book, and Buffy takes it from her.) Hey! I was just at the part where he invented the internet!
Buffy: Anya, he fights better than I do. And I'm the Slayer. The Slayer! That's supposed to mean something, right?
Anya: Oh! (deciding she should encourage) Buck up you. You kill the best. Go you. Kill, kill.
Buffy: Actually not needing validation right now, but thank you.

Buffy: But someone could wish the whole world to be different, right? That's possible?
Anya: Sure, alternate realities. You could uh, could have like a world without shrimp. Or with, you know, nothing but shrimp. You could even make like a freaky world where Jonathan's some kind of not perfect mouth breather if that's what's blowing up your skirt these days. Just don't ask me to live there!

Buffy: I'm just saying it doesn't make any sense. He starred in The Matrix but he never left town. And how'd he graduate from med school? He's only eighteen years old.
Xander: Effective time management?
Giles: I'm sorry Buffy, but I just don't understand what you're trying to say.
Anya: Yeah and when is Jonathan going to get here and start the meeting?
Buffy: This is the meeting.
Willow: This is the meeting?
Buffy: Well, I was just kind of wondering if maybe anyone thought that Jonathan was kind of too perfect?
Xander: No he's not! He's just perfect enough! He crushed the bones of the master, he blew up a big snake made out of mayor and he coached the U.S. women's soccer team to stunning World Cup victory! We saw him doing those things!
Buffy: But that's just it. I'm not entirely sure that we can trust our memories. Anya tell them about the alternate universes.
Anya: Oh okay. Umm. Say you really like shrimp a lot. Or we could say you don't like shrimp at all. "Blah, I wish there weren't any shrimp," you would say to yourself.
Buffy: Stop, you're saying it wrong! I think that Jonathan may be doing something so that he's manipulating the world and we're all like his pawns.
Anya: Or prawns.
Buffy: Stop with the shrimp, I am trying to do something here!

Buffy: The monster had a mark on it. Jonathan saw it and he kind of... blinked.
Xander: He blinked? The man moistened his eyeballs and we're having a meeting about it.

Anya looking at a picture of Jonathan: Pretty darn lickable.

Jonathan: Every demon in this town's gunning for you right now so I figure you're probably keeping pretty good track of them. Big arms, mark on its head... have you seen it?
Spike: No. But then again I'm probably lying.

Riley: These spells... these really work? I mean, can you really turn your enemies inside out? Or learn to excrete gold coins?
Anya: That one's not so much fun.
Willow: They work, Riley, but they take concentration. Being attuned with the forces of the universe.
Xander: Right you can't just go "librum incendere" and expect... (his book bursts into flames)
Giles: Xander, don't speak Latin in front of the books.

Xander: So we're saying he did a spell just to make us think he was cool?
Giles: Yes.
Xander: That is so cool!

Buffy: Wow! Fall down there and be dead for a while.
Jonathan: Yeah... don't want that to happen.

Riley: So if this is the world he created, what's the real world like?
Willow: I'm scared. Everything's going to change.
Giles: Well, actually it'll remain pretty much the same except Jonathan won't be Jonathan - not our Jonathan, anyway.
Xander: No! No! No! World without sunshine! World without joy!

Buffy, beating up the monster: I remember this. This good.

Xander: You know what I'll always remember?
Riley: The swimsuit calendar's sticking in my mind. (At Buffy's look) Not in a good way.
Xander: I'll always remember the way he made me feel about me. Valued, respected, sort of tingly... Now I'm just empty.
Buffy: Poor Xander. I guess Jonathan hurt you most of all.
Tara, raising her hand: Ummm.
Buffy: Except of course, after Tara.
Riley: Did anyone else feel way too tall? I felt way too tall.
Xander: I liked his clothes. He had really cool clothes.
Willow: Still not understanding how he got the house and everything.
Anya: And who really did star in the Matrix?
Riley: Wait. That wasn't real either?

Jonathan: Nobody's even talking to me. And the twins moved out.