Kiss me, Steph

Steph: It's not you... it's the system. I'm in grade eight, so I'm important. You're in grade seven, so you're, like... totally embarrassing.

Stephanie: Hi Rick, glad to be back?
Rick: Grade seven again!

Stephanie: This is grade eight, right? We're supposed to be more mature. So I'm going to start dressing more mature.

Stephanie: Whaddya think? It's my new image.
Voula: What was wrong with the old image?
Stephanie: Voula! Grade eight!

Voula: Hi L.D.! Have a good summer?
L.D. Yeah, pretty good. My dad let me work on a '59 Chevy.
Stephanie: I'm jealous.

Joey: Hey Steph! Remember me? Joey Jeremiah - Playboy, at your service. Wanna play?

Mr Raditch: Greetings, scholars. I trust you all remembered to bring your malleable little minds with you this year. For those of you who are new, my name is Mr Raditch. For those of you who are returning, we meet again.

Stephanie: I believe that being president is a responsibility not to be taken lightly.

Wheels: If I get a kiss, I'll vote for you, Steph - promise!
Stephanie: Okay - so long as you promise!

Arthur: Grade six was never like this!

Goof:
Mr Raditch: This assignment is due on Tuesday morning at 9:10... (He is interrupted by an announcement on the PA) As I said, this assignment is due on Tuesday at 3:25. I will be out of the school at 3:26.

Arthur: There's nothing funny about putting people in lockers!

Stephanie: I am grateful!
Voula: Sure. And that's why you thanked Joey.
Stephanie: Oh that. Sorry, but, you know.
Voula: No, I don't.
Stephanie: Come on Voula, we're in grade eight now. Boys like that sort of thing.
Voula: So do girls! So do best friends. But that's okay, cuz I don't want to be your friend anymore.

Voula: You're on your own, Miss President - you and your "new image"!

Arthur: I don't know about Junior High. It's kind of different. But I have met a new friend, classes are stimulating, and I do know the president - at least on weekends.

The Big Dance

Voula's dad: Life is like a flower. Let it unfold. When you're older you'll thank me.
Voula: When I'm older it'll be too late. The dance will be over!

Lucy: What a hick town! All the parents are fascists!

Stephanie: Lucy, have you ever asked a boy out?
Lucy: Sure, lots of times.
Stephanie: And they don't laugh or anything?
Lucy: Please, Stephanie! This is the eighties!

Voula: I've got too much homework.
Lucy: Voula! You've got the rest of your life to do homework!

Heather: Vodka. Vod-kan I do for you?

Lucy: Stephanie, that's kind of a lot.
Stephanie: Don't worry, Lucy. It's just like a milkshake.

The Experiment

Shane to Arthur at the basketball tryouts: You can be our secret weapon. You can play for the other team!

Melanie: I thought there would be more parties in junior high. Not political parties, but real parties, with boys, music and potato chips!
Kathleen: And dancing.
Melanie: Drugs. My mom warned me all summer, junior high is full of drugs. I haven't seen any.

Yick: He's got me stereotyped. I could hand in Einstein's paper, and I'd still get a D or an F, as usual.

Melanie: I don't want to become an addict and live in horrible poverty with all the rats and lice and everything. I just want to try drugs, once!
Joey: Joey F. Jeremiah, Esquire, F for pharmacy, at your service. So, whaddya want? Smoke, drop, pop? What's your style? Lebanese Light, Bolivian Blue, Degrassi Grass, or the top of my line, New Zealand Zappers? Highly recommended!

Joey: Wow! Cool. Mild, very mild.

Joey: I saved these kids from a life of destitution and gave them nourishing vitamins!

Mr Raditch, handing back papers: I was particularly interested in yours, Mr Yu. I was quite taken by what you wrote. It was clear, lucid - yes, I was impressed. Not as impressed as I was last year when I first read this paper.

Stephanie: But that's stealing! You cheated them out of their money!
Joey: Hey, lessons don't come cheap!

Joey: It was a joke! Can't you take a joke?
Melanie: Ha, ha. Where's our money?

Yick's paper: When you stereotype people, you box them in, instead of looking at them fresh.

The Cover Up

Doris: Mr Jeremiah is here for another chat.
Mr Lawrence, with a sigh: Send him in.

Joey explains his banged-up face:
To Doris Bell: These guys were beating up a little kid. I had to stop them.
To Stephanie, LD and Voula: These three big guys said Stephanie was only the second best president this school has ever had. I had to teach them a lesson!
To his mom: It was really weird! I'm sitting there studying when wham! This book jumps up and hits me in the eye.
To Mr Marino, the child welfare worker: I sorta fell into some bikes. Kinda dumb.

Mr Raditch: Good morning, aspiring scholars. You will be pleased to know I've marked your papers. ... Some of you will be pleased to know.

Joey: It'll be the classic case of the four J's, my friend: Joey Jeremiah in his jean jacket!

Mr Marino: Then who were you talking about, Joey? Because if it's true, he needs help very badly, even if he won't admit it.
(Rick runs out.)

Rick: Do you get a bonus for every kid you bag, or something?
Mr Marino: No, but the kid gets help.

The Great Race

Melanie, staring at her chest: L.D.! Look!

Joey: Hey Steph, did you know I got an A in Sex Education last year? So if there's anything you want to know... Joey P. Jeremiah, P for Playboy, at your service!

Melanie: I'm nearly a teenager. A passionate teenager whose dumb mother won't let her buy a bra.

L.D.: Don't be so chicken!
Melanie: I am not chicken! Well, maybe a little bit, but not a lot though. Sort of like a chicken wing without the legs or breasts.
L.D.: Breasts!

Joey: Nice bra, Melanie. (Achoo!) Got any more kleenex?

Tim: I didn't know cantalopes were in season!
Joey: More like blueberries!

Arthur: Twenty Super Crunch Delights, please!

Joey: Hey Melanie! You're so flat the walls are jealous!

Fear Itself

Mr Delacourt: It's time you stopped monkeying around out here. You're thirteen years, you're supposed to be turning into a lady! Now go, or you'll be late. And get rid of that cap! You think your mother would let you wear a cap like that?
LD, to herself: Drop dead!

Melanie: He's loose... somewhere in the school. Slithering, slinking! He could crawl up somebody's leg!

Jeff: LD, it's your dad.
LD: I know I know: clean the kitchen, do the dishes.
Jeff: No, he's in the hospital.

Mr Lawrence: This is Mr Lawrence speaking. Regarding that much-talked-about grade seven project, please be advised there is only one serpentine creature currently at large. Rumours of twelve missing tarantulas are utterly without foundation. Thank you.

Melanie, seeking the plastic snake: SNAKE!!!!
Snake: Yeah?

Mr Delacourt: Hey, if you think hospitals are scary, you should try being the father of a teenaged daughter.
LD: Hey, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Rumour has it

Annie: It's perfectly normal to think about boys. What else is there to think about?
Ms Avery: Oh, girls...

Annie: Hello? Is this Mr Raditch on the line? Then you better get off, there's a train coming!

Kathleen: Did you hear about the kiss?
Melanie: It wasn't a real kiss. I heard it was just a peck. Lots of women do that.
Kathleen: It looked pretty suspicious to me.

Kathleen: Ms Avery, do you have a boyfriend?
Ms Avery: Hundreds, but I don't know what business that is of yours.

The whole class: Gay! Gay! Gay!
Caitlin: No, I'm not!
The entire class: Lesbian! Lesbian! Lesbian!
Caitlin: No!

Melanie: What difference does it make, even if she is a lesbian?
Susie: She's not a lesbian, she's my friend!!

Mr Lawrence: All students are reminded that notices and posters must first be cleared with the principal's office. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule, including the "No Posters Here" notices and the "No Notices to be Posted Here" poster.

Ms Avery: Why would people say something like that?
Caitlin: You're not married.
Ms Avery: Oh. So, all single people are gay. So, let's hear more of this evidence!
Caitlin: You're always with that woman.
Ms Avery: Who, Elaine? We share a house. It's cheaper than living alone. Anything else?
Caitlin: My friend said she saw you holding hands on King Street.
Ms Avery: Your friend has a vivid imagination.
Caitlin: We saw you kiss her.
Ms Avery: I kiss most of my female friends.

Best Laid Plans

Voula: This is my lucky day. The school president discussed her love life with me! Excuse me, I've got to go write this down before I forget the details.

Yick, on "Swamp Sex Robots": I hear it's so hot it'll fry your eyeballs.

Arthur: Grade sevens are people too, you know.
Stephanie: Debateable.

Yick: Swamp Sex Robots, here we come!

Erica: What are you gonna do if he tries something?
Heather: Erica!
Erica: Well, what if he does?
Stephanie: I don't know. Maybe I'll let him.
Heather: Let him try something?
Stephanie: If I felt like it, sure. I'd do anything, if I felt like it.
Erica: Anything?
Stephanie: Look, I've been on dates before. I can handle it.

Shane: Wheels! You're gonna make it!
Wheels: What?
Shane: Make it!
Wai Lee: With Stephanie H. Kaye. H for hot!
Wheels: What??
Shane: She's got a plan.
Wai Lee: She says she can handle it!

Wheels: Hey, she wants it, she gets it!
Shane and Wai Lee: All the way with Stephanie Kaye!

Mr Raditch: I don't have no time to waste, Miss Kaye. That is both a double negative, and the truth.

Stephanie: Mom, when was the first time you had... sex?
(Mrs Kaye's pasta falls off her fork)

Stephanie: I'm not a little kid anymore you know. (She drinks milk and gets a milk mustache.)

Joey: All right, safe city! What do you want? We've got French Stallion, Ribbed Delight, your industrial strength, your variety pack...
Wheels: I don't know.
Joey: We need professional help. Yo! Could we get some service here in the safe section?
Wheels: Joey, shhh!
(Mrs Kaye comes to help)
Joey: See you later, dude! (Takes off)

Mrs Kaye: You're the boy from the drugstore. What are you going here? What are those flowers for?
Arthur, trying to cover for Stephanie: He's very interested in horticulture!

Mrs Kaye: I don't know what the two of you had planned, but since you bought what you bought, and you look like a tramp, I intend to find out.

Stephanie: I'm grounded for two weeks. I can't even go over to your house.
Voula: Ouch!

What a Night!

Note: Word #13 for the spelling test is: Thief.

Lucy: My parents are perfect. They buy me everything I want, and they're always working so they're never here to bug me.
Voula: Don't you get lonely?
Lucy, after a pause: I'm self-sufficient.

Creepy Damon King: How old are you, Stephanie?
Stephanie: I'm sixteen.
Creepy Damon King: Sweet sixteen. You know Stephanie, one autograph, one kiss, that's my policy.

Mr Raditch, giving Joey's spelling test back: Mr Jeremiah? I didn't realize you knew swahili.

Erica: Heather, this is not a strange man! This is a TV star!
Heather: We don't know anything about him!
Stephanie: We know everything about him! We watch him on TV all the time!

Heather: You won't just be grounded - you'll be buried!

Lucy: Don't be such a wimp!
Voula: I'm not a wimp! You're a thief!

Slimy Damon King: Stephanie? Hop aboard. Let's you and me go have some fun.

Police officer to Lucy: Well well. You again. And I see you brought a friend this time.

Stephanie, on the phone: Mommy? Please don't get mad. I've done something really stupid. Can you come and pick me up? I'm in a motel... I'll tell you later.

Stephanie: What looks good on TV can be pretty gross in real life.

Smokescreen

Announcement: Today's cafeteria special is tuna surprise.

Kathleen: What do you know about the environment?
Rick: I live in it!

Trish, at the Environmental Action Committee meeting: First on the agenda: a new name.

Announcement: Anyone who had the tuna surprise at lunch, please see Nurse Silver before going home.

Quote of the day: Honesty is the best policy.

The Environment rap: Hey listen up people, don't fall asleep
Let me tell you about the Degrassi clean sweep
Stopping the stink is our intent
Help clean up the environment
Sign our petition and you will see
Improvement at the factory
It's up to us, that's what I think
To make some noise and stop the stink!

Trish: Agenda for today's meeting. Number one: Our name.

Rick: It's called 'action' - doing something, you know?

Factory guy: We've really had no complaints.
Rick: This is a complaint!

Factory guy, doing the brush-off: It's really a pleasure to see young people like yourselves taking an interest in the community.

Trish: Agenda for today's meeting. Number one: our name.

Kathleen: Face it, Caitlin, you made a mistake. You can't be right all the time. On with the meeting! I still don't see what's wrong with our name.

Arthur: I know the vase was valuable, but I'll give you my allowance every week until I get a job. Then I'll give you my salary every year until I finish paying for it.

Arthur, finding the vase was a fake: You broomhead! Why didn't you tell me?
Yick: Why didn't you tell me you broke it?

Caitlin: Rick, you're brilliant!
Rick: Shh. I have a reputation.

It's Late

Melanie: I could do with a good romance. Of course, what I'd really like is a hickey.
Kathleen: Melanie, hickeys are gross!
Melanie: They're not gross, they're romantic. If you've got one, it means you've got a boyfriend. If you've got a boyfriend, you can go out on dates.

Arthur: Seems to me you need some serious help. From me.
Yick: What you do know about girls?
Arthur: When you've got a sister like mine, you learn fast.

Yick: Your eyes are so blue they seem like pimming swools.

Shane: It wouldn't be his problem, would it?
Joey: Well, it would sort of be his baby too.

Arthur: Girls like to get flowers. They think it's romantic or something.
Yick: I feel like a broomhead.

Spike: Mom, I'm pregnant.

Shane: You don't want me to marry you, do you?

Parent's Night

Potential band names:
Snake and the Charmers! (Wheels: Good idea, but I don't think Joey will like it.)
Joey and the Joybuzzers! (Wheels: Nice, but I don't think Snake will like it.)
Snake and the Sneeze (Joey: A cold symptom has class?)
Joey and the Jumpstarts
Joey and the Jellybeans
Snake and the Snaps (Joey: Sounds like breakfast!)

Wheels's mom: Now this is real music! Not like that rock noise you listen to, Derek. That's why we got you a good record.
Wheels, picking up "South Pacific": Thanks mom. Can't wait to hear it.
Wheels's dad: Derek, did you ever stop to think that maybe rock music was part of an alien plot to take over the world?
Wheels: Right, dad.

Wheels: Don't be so depressed.
Joey: You'd be depressed too if your parents were going to kill you.
Snake: They're not going to kill you. Probably just break your arm or something.

Announcement: Would whoever stole the Reserved sign from Mr Raditch's parking space, return it!

Revolution

Joey: Joey L. Jeremiah, L for lover!

Stephanie: Go jump in a lake!
Joey: Which one?

Erica: How could anyone say no to Stephanie Kaye, school president?
Heather: School bombshell!

More potential bandnames:
Joey: Joey and the Jetsets!
Joey: The Zit Remedy?

Snake: There is no way I'm eating live goldfish on stage, okay?
Joey: Just think of it as sushi!

Wheels: So, why don't you eat the goldfish?
Joey: I can't. I'm allergic to fish.
Wheels and Snake: Yeah right.

Wheels: I thought there was supposed to be... an election or something.
Stephanie: Look Wheels, I'm school president. I can do whatever I want.

Joey, combing his hair, to himself: You devil! How can you stand to be so good looking!
(Yick gives him a strange look) Am I beautiful or am I beautiful?
Yick: I don't like multiple choice.

Susie: She's only school president because she let all the boys kiss her.

Signs:
Impeach Stephanie Kaye!
No campaign promises kept!
Discrimination against grade sevens!
Stephanie Kaye may be a good kisser, but she's a lousy prez! The student council can't be run on lips alone!
Degrassi Junior High needs a solid leader!
Unfair to grade sevens!
Stephanie Kaye go away!
Is this a school president? (with picture of girl in short skirt and halter top)
Grade sevens won't stand for unfair treatment!

Stephanie: Seventh graders don't count.

All the grade sevens: Outta the way with Stephanie Kaye!!

Stephanie: I just wanted everybody to like me. Why do I always have to mess things up?