Focus on Eddie

The Unkindest Cut of All

Frasier: Mrs Greenway, there's no way the Eddie could be the father, he's been neutered.
Mrs Greenway: Oh really! Then how do you explain these??
Frasier: Oh my God! They're miniature Eddies!!

Frasier: Bad dog! Look what you did!!

Frasier: All this time I thought Eddie had been fixed.
Martin: All you had to do was look.
Frasier: Well, I am glad to say I've never been that bored.

Frasier to the puppies: Oh, for God's sake, stop staring at me!

Niles: Now Eddie, it's a routine operation, they say it's almost painless although I can't imagine!!

Frasier: A $500 reward for Eddie?? (Martin gives him a LOOK) Are you sure it's enough?
Martin: Right now it's about $500 more than I'd pay to get you back.

Death and the Dog

Daphne: If Eddie were one of the Beatles, I think he'd be George. I don't know why!
Frasier: And yet she's never been commited. I don't know why!

Miscellaneous Quotes

Frasier: No, not Eddie!
Martin: But he's my best friend!
Frasier: But he's weird! He gives me the creeps, all he does is stare at me!!
The Good Son

Martin: I call him 'Eddie Spaghetti.
Daphne: Oh, he likes pasta?
Martin: No, he has worms.
The Good Son

Frasier: Dad, I can't read my paper, Eddie's staring at me.
Martin: Well, you do make quite a picture in the morning. Just ignore him.
Frasier: I'm trying to!
Martin: I'm talking to the dog.
Space Quest

Martin: We'll bring you a bone, Eddie! (no reaction from Eddie) He's ecstatic.
Dinner at Eight

Frasier: What is so fascinating about me? What is it? In your eyes is my head a large piece of kibble? Am I some sort of canine enigma? Think about it, get back to me.
I Hate Frasier Crane

Martin: I had the strangest dream. I dreamt this beautiful woman with bad breath was licking my face. (Eddie comes into the room from the bedroom area) Hey, where did you just come from?
Here's Looking at You

Martin, giving Frasier Eddie's ball: Go ahead and throw it, he'll run and get it for you.
Frasier throws the ball off the balcony.
Martin: He didn't think that was funny and he knows where you sleep.
Selling Out

Martin: Don't say that word!
Daphne: What word?
Martin: B. A. T. H. (Eddie runs off)
Frasier: When he yawns, it smells like swamp gas, but his spelling's improving.
Can't tell a crook by his cover

Daphne: He [Eddie] saw your father's chair was gone and he thinks it means your father's gone too. I think he suspects foul play.
Frasier to Eddie: Oh stop it. If I had stuffed Dad's feet into a bucket of cement and thrown him into the Puget Sound, you'd have been the tiny little splash that followed him.
Give Him the Chair!

Daphne: We don't need a security system. We've got Eddie here.
Cindy, the bodyguard: Hello, Eddie.
(Eddie hides his head.)
Martin: Hey, don't let him fool you. If you laid a hand on me, you'd have a bite in your butt the size of a tennis ball.
Frasier: And Eddie would go for your ankles.
Someone to Watch Over Me

Martin: It's disgusting! Why do animals always drag these things into the house?
Frasier: Oh dear God, what is it, a rat?
Martin: No, it's a stupid doll. He found it in the park and he carries it everywhere. He never did this kind of stuff before you had him fixed.
Burying A Grudge

Daphne: Eddie was viciously attacked.
Frasier: Oh. Is that coffee cake I smell?
She's the Boss

(Eddie has to wear one of those cone-shaped things.)
Daphne: If you sit him next to the telly, channel five comes in a lot clearer!
She's the Boss

Martin: I was just reading about an intelligence test you can give your dog. You throw a towel over its head and see how long it takes him to shake it off. Eddie!
Daphne: Oh, and the faster he takes the towel off, the smarter he is?
Martin: No, the faster he folds it. All right, they ranked all the dogs and the smartest was a border collie, he did it in seven seconds. All right, come on boy, take it off. Six... seven. Okay, the next fastest one was a poodle, I know he's as smart as a poodle. OK, so he's no poodle... he's not a beagle either... or a German shepherd... or a labrador. Oh, for God's sake, Eddie!
Daphne: Yes, well, if you ask me, he's refusing to do that trick because he knows if he does it right, you'll have him doing it every time we have company.
Martin: Hey, I'll bet you're right! Nice going, Eddie!
Moon Dance

Martin: What the hell you doin' with him??
Frasier: We went out for a walk.
Martin: I'm talking to Eddie!
Look Before you Leap

Martin: Daphne, get that hat off him! Isn't it bad enough we had him neutered?
Daphne: The way things are going, I don't think I'm going to have children. Just let me dress up the dog.
The Botched Language of Cranes

Martin: Why can't you be like other dogs? Why can't you bring home bones or animals you kill? (Eddie enters carrying yellow tulips in his mouth) Give me those! Relax! I'm just going to put them with the roses you picked yesterday.
Frasier Loves Roz

Eddie runs in as Martin opens a bag of chips.
Martin: Oh, how does he always hear me?
Daphne: He doesn't. He just swings through every twenty minutes. He knows you'll be eating some kind of junk.
Crane Vs. Crane

Martin: That was the day Eddie got into the poison oak. I stayed up all night rubbing calamine lotion on his belly.
Frasier: These really are the golden years for you, aren't they?
Halloween

Martin: That dog's always doing weird things. Yesterday, when we were taking our bath together, Eddie spent fifteen straight minutes pushing the soap around with his nose like an otter. It's weird!
Frasier: Yes, if he gets any weirder, we'll have to send "Eddie" to a home.
Perspectives on Christmas

Martin: Well, I went into my song and everything was going fine. Then we come up to the high note, and I actually think I'm going to hit it for once. Then I look over and I see Eddie. He's got his head buried in the Christ Child's cradle. Well, I guess he mistook the Christ Child for one of his chew toys because he grabs a hold of it in his teeth and starts shaking it! So, the Virgin Mary grabbed hold of its legs, well, you know how Eddie likes a good tug-of-war, so they're going at it, then Eddie runs out of there with it still in his mouth and half the population of Bethlehem chasing after him!
Perspectives on Christmas

Martin: I taught Eddie a great new trick.
Frasier: Really?
Martin: Yeah, come on, I'll show you. It starts out that I point a gun at him.
Frasier: I like it so far.
Martin: Then I say, 'Freeze punk, it's all over!"
(No response from Eddie)
Martin: It's all over! Oh come on Eddie, you're supposed to go like this. (Martin rolls over on his back)
Frasier: Now all we have to do is teach Eddie to say 'It's all over.
Good Grief

Martin: Ah, it's too bad it's not bubble wrap. You don't know what funny is until you've seen Eddie go after a sheet of that stuff. Poppity-pop-pop-pop! He gets all scared and runs away, and then he screws up his courage and comes after it again. Poppity-pop-pop! And he runs away again. Yeah, I watched him for an hour one time. You know, it's amazing how entertained he can be by something so simple. Poppity-pop-pop-pop!
Secret Admirer

Martin: I mean, what kind of a person likes to see a dog humiliated?
Frasier: Dad, may I remind you that not a holiday goes by that you don't dress that dog up in some sort of ridiculous hat?
Martin: There's nothing wrong with those hats. He looks good in hats. He's got a hat face. Well, he was probably just intimidated being over in Lady's park, you know. Wait'll he gets over to this side of town. He owns that park. Even the big dogs are scared of him.
Frasier: That's because they've seen him in his hats and they think he's crazy.
Shut Out in Seattle