Signs you may be
watching too much Frasier

Every time you see or hear the word "veneer" you shout "VENEER!" and take a drink.

You think you're a bit psychic.

You insist on calling your grandmother Grammy Moon.

You get a Jack Russell terrier and name it Eddie.

You wish Niles was your psychiatrist.

You look for Ballantine at the beer store. And sherry at the liquor store.

You check the yellow pages for snobby restaurants with French names.

Whenever you see a red hatchback, you think "hunchback."

You wipe off the chair before you sit down.

You tweeze things out of your muffin.

You request your macaroni and cheese al dente.

You tell the dog to STOP STARING!

You put a towel over the dog's head to see how smart he is.

When you're feeling inspired, you put on a baseball cap.

When you can't find something, you starting yelling, "This stinks! This is total B.S.! This - oh, here it is."

You hold your own Marty Party.

You bake muscular gingerbread men.

For a romantic evening, you serve mangoes on a stick. And you make sure, just before you open the door, that the right music is playing on the stereo.

You keep talking about your very thin wife, whom no one ever sees.

You can dance the Barracuda.

You sing "Heart and Soul" while chopping vegetables.

When you order coffee, you give really complicated instructions. And then get mad when they get it wrong.
Or, you order your coffee "black and don't put anything fancy in it."

To cheer up your friend, you put a sock on your hand and say, "You've forgotten your happy pants!"

You call your umbrella a bumbershoot.

Whenever someone says 'Wow,' you can't help adding, "I'll see that wow and raise you a zowie."

When someone annoys you in the laundry room, you throw their clothes off your balcony.

When someone asks "How are you?" you answer, "Do you really want to know, or are you just asking to be polite? Because if you really want to know, I'll *tell* you."

You walk around all day singing, "Flesh is burning. Nananana nana."

After a night of passion, you want eggs benedict for breakfast.

Your answering machine says "I'm listening" (in a very soothing voice).

You catch yourself saying, "Food? In the bathroom?"

You have a Frasier quote for every situation.

You correct the grammar of washroom graffiti.

You measure your life in muffins.

You call your ironing board the guest room.

When you're depressed, you sit under the piano.

Your license plate says SHRINK, but only because RDWRER was already taken.

You purchase erotic African art and display it in your apartment.

You buy a green and orange striped chair.

Your excuse for everything is, "I have a clarinet lesson."

You buy a hip-swinging Santa.

You want to ride in a Winnebago!

Whenever you hear the phrase, "But he's not gay!" you can't help adding, "He seems to be under that impression."

After an argument with your father, you tell everyone that he is dead.

When your neighbours are making too much noise, you yell, "We are not barbarians, we are not neanderthals, and we are not French!"
(We are living in a society! -- oops, wrong show!)

You "get" every reference on this page.