Cat: Dog? What's a dog?
Lister: It's just a pet.
Cat: Ugh, uglyyyy.
Lister: Holly's supposed to have told you. I thought you didn't mind.
Rimmer: Mind? Mind? Why should I mind? Three hundred thousand millennia alone while you're in suspended animation. I'll be fine. I'll do that crossword book, that should kill a couple of centuries.
Lister: Holly'll switch you off until we come back out.
Rimmer: Even better. Switch me on, switch me off, like I'm some battery-powered sex aid.
Lister: Look, Rimmer, death isn't the handicap it used to be in the olden days. It doesn't screw your career up like it used to.
Rimmer: That's what they say, Lister. But if you had two people coming for a job, and one of them was dead, which one would you pick?
Lister: They might be able to cure you. They've probably made great advances and that while we've been away.
Rimmer: Oh, yes, I expect they cured death the instant we left Earth. I expect doctors' surgeries are packed with the dead. "Hello, Mrs Johnson, take one of these three times a day, you'll soon be living again. Carol, next corpse, please."
Lister, finding the Cat with a rack of suits: What are you doing?
Cat: I'm doing what you said to do.
Lister: I said, "Take a few essential basics you couldn't bear to leave behind."
Cat: Right! These are all I'm taking. Just these, and the other ten racks. Travel light, move fast!
Lister: You can't take all of this. There's no room.
Cat: OK, then I'll leave ... this! [a small handkerchief] I'll just have to do without it.
Lister: You can take two suits and that's it.
Cat: Two suits? Then I'm staying!
Lister: You can't stay. By the time I come out, you'll be dead.
Cat: Two suits is dead! Hey! If I cut off my leg and leave it behind, can I take three?
Holly: Look, I'm a tenth-generation AI hologrammic computer. I'm not your mum.
Rimmer: What are future echoes?
Holly: How simple do you want this?
Rimmer: Ah, so Lister can understand it.
Holly: Oh dear.
Rimmer: It's difficult, I know.
Lister, to skutters that are handing him a note: What's this, guys? "Don't go into stasis. Please don't leave us with Rimmer."
Rimmer: Brace yourself for a bit of a shock, Lister, but I just saw you die.
Lister: What?!
Rimmer: I did warn you to brace yourself.
Lister: You didn't give me much of a chance.
Rimmer: I gave you ample bracing time!
Lister: No you didn't. You didn't even pause.
Rimmer: Well, I'm sorry! I've just had a rather nasty experience. I have just seen someone I know die in the most hideous, hideous way!
Lister: Yeah! Me!
Lister: Hey, it hasn't happened, has it? It has "will have going to have happened" happened, but it hasn't actually "happened" happened yet, actually.
Rimmer: Poppycock! It will be happened; it shall be going to be happening; it will be was an event that could will have been taken place in the future. Simple as that. Your bucket's been kicked, baby.
Rimmer: You're about to do the largest splits you'll ever do in your life.
Lister: I get blown up then?
Rimmer: Bits of you do.
Lister: It's not fair. There's loads of things I've never done. Like ... I've never had a prawn vindaloo. And I've never read ... a book. And I wanted to have a family. And I wanted to have loads of practice in the things that you've got to do to get a family.
Rimmer: Holly, I'd like to send an internal memo. Black border. Begins, "To Dave Lister, Condolences on your passing away." What's that poem? "Now, weary traveller, rest your head, for just like me, you're utterly dead."
Rimmer: Ah, Lister, what's that [lead pipe] for?
Lister: I'm going out like I came in - screaming and kicking.
Rimmer: You can't whack death on the head!
Lister: If he comes near me I'm gonna rip his nipples off!
Old Lister: I've got to tell you about Bexley.
Rimmer: Who's Bexley?
Lister: I was always going to call my second son Bexley, after Jim Bexley Speed.
Rimmer: Your second son? What were you going to call your first son?
Lister: Jim. After Jim Bexley Speed.
Lister: You're born, and you die. The bit in the middle's called life, and that's still to come!
Rimmer: Wait a minute. I don't understand how you're supposed to get two sons without a woman on this ship.
Lister: Neither do I. But it's going to be a laugh finding out.
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