TOS Intro page
Kirk
Spock
McCoy
Sulu
Chekov
Uhura
Scotty
Other Characters
Personal Favourites
Kirk: If I get my hands on the headquarters genius that assigned me a female yeoman...
McCoy: What's the matter, Jim, don't you trust yourself?
Kirk: I've already got a female to worry about. Her name is Enterprise.
The Corbomite Manoever
Kirk: It's a mystery. I don't like mysteries! They give me a bellyache, and I've got a beauty right now.
The Man Trap
Kirk: One of the advantages of being a captain, Doctor, is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it.
Dagger of the Mind
Kirk: I'm a soldier, not a diplomat.
Errand of Mercy
Kirk: You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?
Spock: I thought you might.
Kirk: You were right.
Errand of Mercy
Kirk to Kor: Go climb a tree.
Errand of Mercy
Kirk: I don't usually go around beating up beautiful women.
Callinda: Why not?
Kirk: Well, there are better things for men and women to do.
Callinda: Like what?
By Any Other name
Callinda: Why do you build up such a mystique over a simple biological function?
Kirk: We enjoy it.
Callinda: The literature?
Kirk: Callinda, I'm sorry I brought up the whole subject!
By Any Other name
Kirk: Would you mind being careful where you throw your rocks, Mr Spock?
The Apple
Woman: What are children?
Kirk: Little ones, like you, they - Just go on the way you're going, you'll find out.
The Apple
Kirk: Come on, Spock; let's go mind the store.
Amok Time
Fizzbin - The Rules of the Game
Kirk: The name of the game is called... Fizzbin. Each player gets 6
cards, except for the player on the dealer's right, who gets 7.
Thug: On the right.
Kirk: Yeah. The second card is turned up, except on Tuesdays.
Thug: Tuesday.
Kirk: Ohh! Look what you've got- 2 jacks. You got a half-fizzbin
already.
Thug: I need another jack?
Kirk: No. If you got another jack, why you'd have a shralk.
Thug: A shralk?
Kirk: Yes, you'd be disqualified. No, what you need now is either a king
and a deuce, except at night, of course, when you'd need a queen and a four.
Thug: Except at night.
Kirk: Right. Oh, look at that, you've got another jack! How lucky you
are! How wonderful for you! Now if you didn't get another jack, if you
had gotten a king, why then you'd get another card except when
it's dark , when you'd have to give it back.
Thug: If it were dark on Tuesday.
Kirk: Yes, but what you're after is a royal fizzbin, but the odds of
getting a royal fizzbin are astron - Spock, what are the odds on getting
a royal fizzbin?
Spock: I have never computed them, Captain.
Kirk: Well, they're astronomical, believe me. Now, for the last card, we'll call it a kronk. You got that?
Thug: What?
(chaos ensues)
A Piece of the Action
Kirk: Out of the mouths of babes...
Kid: Who you callin' a babe?
Kirk: I'm callin' you a babe.
Kid, pulling a knife: You callin' me a babe?
Kirk: I'm callin' you a babe, but there's nothing personal in it.
A Piece of the Action
Barris: I want all available security guards posted around the storage compartments.
Kirk: Storage compartments? Storage compartments?
Darvin: The storage compartments containing the quadrotridicale.
Kirk: The what? the what?
The Trouble with Tribbles
Kirk: I have never questioned the orders or the intelligence of any representative of the Federation. Until now.
The Trouble with Tribbles
Barris: In my opinion, you have taken this entire very important project far too lightly!
Kirk: On the contrary, I think of this project as very important. It is you I take lightly.
The Trouble with Tribbles
Kirk: Scotty, you've just earned your pay for the week.
The Doomsday
Machine
Kirk: Mr Chekov, I think you've earned your pay for the week.
Who
Mourns for Adonais?
Kirk: Do you know the one, "All I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer
her by..." You could feel the wind at your back, about you - the sounds of the sea beneath you. And even if you take away the wind and the water, it's still the same. The ship is yours, you can feel her, and the stars are still there.
The Ultimate Computer
Kirk: KHAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!!!
The Wrath of Khan
Kirk: The word is no. I am therefore going anyway.
The Search for Spock
Kirk: My God, Bones! What have I done?
McCoy: What you had to do. What you always do. Turned death into a fighting
chance to live.
The Search for Spock
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I just work in outer space.
Trying to convince Gillian he's not a freak, The Voyage Home
Kirk: I can't believe I kissed you!
Martia (Shapeshifter): It must have been your life-long ambition!
The Undiscovered Country
Kirk: Risk is part of the game if you want to sit in that chair.
Generations