TOS Intro page
Kirk
Spock
McCoy
Sulu
Chekov
Uhura
Scotty
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Kirk: Have I ever mentioned you play a very irritating game of chess, Mr Spock?
Spock: Irritating? Ah yes - one of your Earth emotions.
Where No Man has Gone Before
Bailey: I happen to have a human thing called an adrenaline.
Spock: That sounds most inconvenient. Have you considered having it removed?
The Corbomite Manoeuver
(Spock uses the nerve pinch)
Kirk: I'd like you to teach me that sometime.
The Naked Time
Spock: Your illogical approach to chess does have its advantages on occasion, Captain.
Kirk: I prefer to call it inspired.
Spock: As you wish.
Charlie X
Kirk: You're not going to admit that, for the first time in your life, you made a completely emotional decision based on desperation?
Spock: No, sir.
Kirk: Mr Spock, you're a stubborn man.
Spock: Yes, Sir.
Galileo Seven
Captain Christopher, seeing Spock for the first time: I never have believed in little green men.
Spock: Neither have I.
Tomorrow is Yesterday
McCoy: Shouldn't you be working on your time warp calculations, Mr Spock?
Spock: I am. (He resumes staring into space)
Tomorrow is Yesterday
Kirk: You'd make a splendid computer, Mr Spock.
Spock: That is very kind of you, Captain!
Return of the Archons
Kirk: So, we're stranded here, in the middle of a Klingon occupation army.
Spock: So it would seem. Not a very pleasant prospect.
Kirk: You have a gift for understatement, Mister Spock. It's not a very
pleasant prospect at all.
Errand Of Mercy
Kirk: You didn't really think I was going to beat his head in, did you?
Spock: I thought you might.
Kirk: You're right.
Errand Of Mercy
Kirk: Well, Mr Spock, if we can't disguise you, we'll find some way of explaining you.
Spock: That should prove interesting.
City on the Edge of Forever
Spock: I am endeavoring, ma'am, to construct a mnemonic circuit using stone knives and bearskins.
City on the Edge of Forever
Kirk: My friend is obviously Chinese. I see you've noticed the ears. They're ... actually quite easy to explain.
Spock: Perhaps the unfortunate accident I had as a child...
Kirk: The unfortunate accident he had as a child, he caught his head in a mechanical ... rice picker.
City on the Edge of Forever
Kirk: At times you seem quite human.
Spock: Captain, I don't think that insults are within your prerogative as my commanding officer.
City on the Edge of Forever
Spock: I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.
This Side of Paradise
Kirk: Spock!
Spock, kissing Leila: Yes, what did you want?
Kirk, confused: Spock, is that you?
Spock: Yes, Captain, what did you want?
Kirk: Where are you?
Spock: I don't believe I want to tell you that.
Kirk: Spock, I don't know what you think you're doing, but this is an order. Report back to me at the settlement in ten minutes. We're evacuating all colonists to Starbase 27.
Spock: No, I don't think so.
Kirk: You - don't - think - so - what??
Spock: I don't think so Sir!
This Side of Paradise
Spock: I am what I am, Leila, and if there are self-made purgatories, then we all have to live in them. Mine can be no worse than someone else's.
This Side of Paradise
Kirk: Well, there it is - war. We didn't want it, but we've got it.
Spock: It is curious how often you humans manage to obtain that which you do not want.
Errand of Mercy
Kirk: What would you say the odds are on our getting out of here?
Spock: It is difficult to be precise, Captain. I should say approximately 7824.7 to one.
Kirk: Difficult to be precise? 7824 to one?
Spock: 7824.7 to one.
Kirk: That's a pretty close approximation.
Spock: I endeavour to be accurate.
Kirk: You do quite well.
Errand of Mercy
Spock: The creature within me is gone. I am free of it, and the pain. I am also quite blind. An equitable trade, Doctor. Thank you.
The Immunity Syndrome
Kirk: Spock, comments?
Spock: Very bad poetry, Captain.
Kirk: A more useful comment, Mr Spock?
Spock: What we've just seen is not real.
Kirk: That's useful.
Catspaw
Spock: Verbose, isn't he?
Who Mourns for Adonais?
Spock, examining a tribble: A curious creature. Its trilling seems to have a tranquilizing effect on the human nervous system. Fortunately, of course, I am ... immune ... to ... its ... effect...
Proving that Vulcans can lie after all, Trouble with Tribbles
It's android-confusing time!
Spock: I love you, however, I hate you.
Alice 210: But I am identical in every way with Alice 27!
Spock: Exactly. That is exactly why I hate you, because you are identical.
(Both the androids slump over in confusion)
Spock: Fascinating.
I, Mudd
Spock: Logic is little tweeting bird chirping in meadow. Logic is wreath of pretty flowers that smell bad.
I, Mudd
Click here to play a sound file of little tweeting bird (166K)
Spock: Nowhere am I so desperately needed as among a shipload of illogical humans.
I, Mudd
Spock: On my planet "to rest" is to rest, to cease using energy. To me it is quite illogical to run up and down on green grass using energy instead of saving it.
Shore Leave
Spock: Enterprise to signaler on planet's surface. Identify self. (Reads answer) "Hip hip hurrah..." and I believe it's pronounced "Tally ho."
The Squire of Gothos
Spock: Fascinating is a word I use for the unexpected. In this case, I
should think "interesting" would suffice.
The Squire of Gothos
Kirk: What do you think you were trying to do?
Spock: I surmised you were unaware of that plant, so I -
Kirk: Stepped in front and took the thorns yourself.
Spock: I assure you, Captain, that I had no intention of doing that. It was merely my own clumsiness which prevented me from moving out of the way.
Kirk: Well, next time just yell, I can step out of the way as quickly as the next man.
Spock: I shall do so.
Kirk: ... Tryin' to get yourself killed. Do you know how much Starfleet has invested in you?
Spock: One hundred twenty-two thousand -
Kirk: Never mind! ... but thanks.
The Apple
Kirk: I suspect you're becoming more and more human all the time.
Spock: Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted.
Devil in the Dark
Kirk: The boundary layer between what and what?
Spock: Between where we were and where we are.
Kirk: Are you trying to be funny, Mr. Spock?
Spock: It would never occur to me, Captain.
The Immunity Syndrome
McCoy: Jim, when I suggested to Spock that it was time for his routine checkup, your logical, unemotional First Officer turned to me and said, "You will cease to pry into my personal matters, Doctor, or I shall certainly break your neck."
Amok Time
Spock: It has to do with biology.
Kirk: What?
Spock: Biology!
Kirk: What kind of biology?
Spock: Vulcan biology.
Kirk: You mean... the biology of Vulcans? Biology as in reproduction? (long pause) There's no need to be embarrassed, Mr Spock; it happens to the birds and the bees.
Spock: The birds and the bees are not Vulcans, Captain. If they were - if any creature as proudly logical as us - were to have their logic ripped from them as this time does to us... How do Vulcans choose their mates? Haven't you ever wondered?
Kirk: I guess the rest of us assume that it's done quite logically.
Spock: No. It is not.
Amok Time
Spock: It is the ponn farr - the time of mating.
Amok Time
Spock: After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing, after all, as wanting. It is not logical, but it is often true.
Amok Time
T'Pau: Live long and prosper, Spock.
Spock: I shall do neither. I have killed my captain, and my friend.
Amok Time
Flavius: What do you call those?
Spock: I call them ears.
Flavius: Are you trying to be funny?
Spock: Never.
Bread and Circuses
Oxmyx: Kracko's put the bag on your captain.
Spock: Why would he put a bag on the captain?
Oxmyx: Kidnapped him, you dope.
A Piece of the Action
Oxmyx: Nobody helps nobody but himself.
Spock: Sir, you are employing a double negative.
A Piece of the Action
Spock: Must we?
Kirk: It's faster than walking.
Spock: But not as safe.
Kirk: Are you afraid of cars?
Spock: Not at all, Captain. It is your driving that alarms me.
A Piece of the Action
Spock: I'd advise yas ta keep dialin', Oxmyx!
A Piece of the Action
Click here to play a wav file of keep dialin
Spock: Random chance seems to have operated in our favor.
McCoy: In plain, non-Vulcan English, we've been lucky.
Spock: I believe I said that, Doctor.
The Doomsday Machine
Kirk: Is there anyone on this ship who even remotely looks like Satan?
Spock: I am not aware of anyone who fits that description, Captain.
Kirk: No, Mr. Spock, I didn't think you would be.
The Apple
Kirk: You look quite well for a man who's been utterly destroyed, Mr Spock.
Patterns of Force
Kirk to Spock: That helmet covers a multitude of sins.
Patterns of Force
Spock: You realize that the aim will of course be very crude.
Kirk: I don't care if you hit the broad side of a barn. Just hurry, please.
Spock: Captain, why should I aim at such a structure?
Kirk: Never mind, Spock, just get on with the job!
Patterns of Force
Kirk: Very good, Spock. We may make a human of you yet.
Spock: I hope not!
Patterns of Force
Malakon, describing Spock: Note the sinister eyes and the malformed ears: definitely an inferior race. Note the low forehead denoting stupidity, the dull look of a trapped animal.
Patterns of Force
McCoy: Please, Spock, do me a favour, and don't say it's "fascinating"!
Spock: No, but it is... interesting.
The Ultimate Computer
Spock: Computers make excellent and efficient servants, but I have no wish to serve under them. Captain, a starship also runs on loyalty to one man. And nothing can replace it or him.
The Ultimate Computer
Kirk, referring to the Vulcan neck pinch: A pity you can't teach me that.
Spock: I have tried, Captain.
Omega Glory
Spock: The ship... out of danger?
The Wrath of Khan
Spock: The needs of the many... outweigh -
Kirk: The needs of the few.
Spock: Or the one.
The Wrath of Khan
Spock: I have been and always shall be your friend. ...Jim. Your name is Jim.
The Search for Spock
Spock: Judging by the pollution content of the atmosphere, I believe we have arrived at the late twentieth century.
The Voyage Home
Spock: What does it mean, 'exact change'?
The Voyage Home
Spock: To hunt a species to extinction is not logical.
Gillian: Whoever said the human race was logical?
The Voyage Home
Spock: Are you sure it isn't time for a "colourful metaphor"?
The Voyage Home
Spock: They like you very much, but they are not the hell your whales.
The Voyage Home
Gillian: Are you sure you won't change your mind?
Spock: Is there something wrong with the one I have?
The Voyage Home
Spock: If I were human, I believe my response would be: 'go to hell'. If I were human.
The Final Frontier