Les: Look out! Herb Tarlek's selling life insurance, and he's headed this way!
Venus in an echoey voice: It was the monster who sold life insurance insurance insurance!
Andy: Can he do that? Can he work at the station and sell life insurance at the same time?
Venus: I thought you were in charge here, man.
Andy: Huh? Oh. Kinda lost control for a second there - just for a second. All right, I'll go talk to him.
Venus: If this were a monster movie, he'd be the next guy that gets it.
Andy: Did you just sell Les some insurance?
Herb: Maybe.
Les: Personal, liability, automobile, motor scooter, apartment, boat and life.
Andy: You don't have a boat, Les!
Herb: I sold him mine.
Les: I can't ignore the news. People depend on me. I am the news. I'm afraid what we've got here is a bad case of NS.
Andy: NS?
Les: Newsman's Syndrome.
Andy: This morning I asked him to stop doin' what he was doin', but he was still doin' it by lunch, and I think you should do something about it.
Andy: He's selling life insurance, and knowing Herb it has to be some fly-by-night outfit.
Mr Carlson, holding up a pile of papers: You mean none of this stuff's any good?
Les: There's been an accident.
Herb: How bad?
Les: Really bad.
Herb: Whose fault?
Les: Mine.
Herb: Did you mail that envelope?
Les: First thing.
Herb: Why... why...??? (Breaks down sobbing)
Les: I went to turn and suddenly I lost control. I went one way, and the scooter went ... well, it went...
Herb: Where did the scooter go, Les?
Les: Into this house. Actually, it kind of spun around the porch for a while, then it gathered itself together and went straight through a window...
Herb: I can't listen to any more of this.
Les: ... bounced through the living room, into the kitchen, and struck a Mr and Mrs J. Garnett Hopkins as they were having tea.
Mr Carlson: Were they, uh, well, you know, were they...
Herb: Wasted?
Les: Mother always told me that journalism wasn't a gentleman's pursuit. I think at the end there she really had her heart set on me being a ... cowboy.
Jennifer: Les, it was an accident. Accidents are accidents, that's why they call them that.
Mr Hopkins: Our bones are broken!
Mrs Hopkins: Our lives are in a tatter!
Mr Hopkins: A tatter!
Mrs Hopkins: You're a cruel, cruel man!
Les: It was an accident!
Mr Hopkins: My God, man!! We were having tea!!
Les: I'll quit my job, after fourteen years, I'll give it all up! I want to suffer, I'll never forget this! I'll wield it like a heavy iron cross around my chest and I'll never never give it up until the day I die!
Mr Hopkins: It's not enough.
Mrs Hopkins: It doesn't even scratch the surface!
Mr Hopkins on Herb: I will not be taught how to live by a man in a white belt!
Herb: You know what we call problems in sales? We call them opportunities.
Mr Hopkins: Les, your friend is a twit.
Herb: What about the boat?
Les: It's gone.
Herb: Gone? You've had the boat one day, and it's gone??
Les: Well, I've never driven one of those trailer-hitches before, Herb.
Herb: My boat is gone. Where did this happen, Les?
Les: Well, the last time I saw it was on Interstate 75. It was really rather a stirring sight, you know? Went right past me in the other lane, the little flag was fluttering out behind...
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