The Union
An Explosive Affair
Rumors
Straight from the Heart
Who's on First?
Three Days of the Condo
Jennifer and the Will
The Consultant
Love, Exciting and New
You Can't go out
of Town Again
Pills
Changes
Jennifer and Johnny's
Charity
I'll Take Romance
Fire
Dear Liar
Circumstantial Evidence
The Creation of Venus
The Impossible Dream
To Err is Human
Up and Down the Dial |
Mr Carlson: Is that Joyce Armour I see? The best little receptionist I ever had? (Remembering Jennifer, standing next to him) Oh, uh, well, not not not not not the first best. Not not the second best either, she she was the first, but not not not -
Jennifer: Easy Mr Carlson, you'll hurt yourself.
Johnny: You think we're gambling here, don't you? Another merry mix-up.
Andy: You remember what I said I'd do the last time you pulled this...
Jennifer, sticking her head in the door: Andy, I called the police, they're on their way.
Andy: Thank you.
Venus: The police?
Johnny: A little harsh, Travis!
Andy: No no, it's not about that, it's about the bomb threat.
Venus: Excuse me?
Andy: Bomb threat.
Johnny, getting up to leave: Excuse me!
Andy: We have a responsibility to our listeners!
Johnny: Right! If I die, who's gonna teach the children about Bo Diddley?
Andy: You guys are gonna have to broadcast from the transmitter. Do you know where it is?
Johnny: Uh... tall thing with red lights on the top, out in the country, we'll find it.
Johnny: Well?
Venus: Well what?
Johnny: Well, go back in there and get the albums.
Venus: Need I remind you that the police are going to search every inch of this station, including your desk drawer?
Johnny: I'll go get those albums.
Venus: The signal's still coming across the air. It goes through a doohicky back at the station.
Johnny: I'm in awe of your technical expertise.
Johnny: He put me on hold! What kind of a bookie puts people on hold?
Venus: The kind that runs a busy Chinese restaurant.
Andy: I bet they're doin' this on purpose. I bet they got the phone off the book just to frustrate me. I can see them looking at each other and laughing at the thought of me going crazy. (Hangs up very gently) Well it won't WORK!!
Les: Testing, one two three. Here we go, 3, 2, 1, Hi! This is Les Nessman. We're speaking with Andrew Travis, program director of the station that received the bomb threat this morning. Mr Travis, where were you when you received the note?
Andy: Aw, c'mon Les!
Les: Pretend you don't know me!
Andy: Oh all right. I was in my office, Mr - ?
Les: Nessman.
Les: And so you weren't concerned even though Black Monday was in the news last month for blowing up a television transmitter in this reporter's home town of Dayton, Ohio?
Andy: Yeah, you see most successful stations get this sort of thing all the time ... ... transmitter?
Les: Yes.
Andy: That's it. It's at the transmitter, Les! (he runs from the room)
Les, a bit confused: There you have it Dan, and back to you, New York.
Venus: Things could be worse, man. You could be sitting back at the station on top of a bomb.
Johnny: Yeah. (Taps on the toolbox - tap... tap... tap... tap...)
Johnny: Boy, when is Andy gonna call?
Venus, handing him a piece of the phone: Here, John, call him.
Johnny: I'm sorry, man.
Venus: Don't apologize to me, tell Momma Bell you're sorry.
Johnny: You're right. What are we gonna do?
Venus: Whaddya mean we, paleface? You broke it, you fix it.
Johnny: Look, it's remnants of psychedelic spaghetti, whaddya want me to do?
Joyce: You're a sweet man.
Mr Carlson: You should see me when I wake up in the morning. Uh - I - (reconsiders that phrase)
Jennifer: Thanks Commissioner, if there's ever anything I can do for you - what? Why Commissioner, really. (Hangs up)
Johnny, banging the toolbox: I'm gonna need a stick of dynamite to get this thing open!
Johnny, hearing all the sirens: It's the phone company. They know what I did here today.
Venus: What are you talking about?
Johnny: They're coming to get me, man!
Venus: That's paranoia, man!
Johnny: Wake up, sucker, this is the phone company we're talking about! They see everything, they know everything, they got their own covert police force! I'm probably wired for sound right now! I gotta get out of here!
Venus: Johnny!
Johnny: Don't use my name!!
Bailey, on the phone: No, we're off the air. Now how can we announce that we're off the air when we're off the air?
Mr Carlson: I should have been here instead of out there!
Andy: It's my fault, I shouldn't have sent 'em out there in the first place.
Jennifer: Neither of you should be blaming yourselves. It's not your fault.
Johnny, running past: You didn't see me, you didn't see me!
Everyone runs after him. They find him in the bullpen trying to hide behind the sofa.
Johnny: Hide me, hide me! Travis, I'll play the Carpenters, I'll play Barry Manilow, just hide me!!
Jennifer: Johnny, where is Venus?
Johnny, out of breath: He's - he's -
Andy: Yeah?
Johnny: He's...
Mr Carlson: Oh no.
Johnny: He's - parking the car!
Johnny: Don't you people get it? It's the phone cops!!
Andy: There is no such thing as phone cops!
Johnny: Oh sure. Cover for them.
Les: Johnny! Venus! You're alive!
Johnny: The newsman's eye. You just can't fool it.
Les, disappointed: Well, that's wonderful.
Venus: Gee thanks, Les.
Les: Of course, I'll have to update my story. How'd you like it, Andy?
Andy: How'd I like what, Les?
Les: My four o'clock news report. Didn't you listen?
Andy: Les, the transmitter blew up!
Les: Of course! That was my lead!
Johnny: You led off the newscast by telling them that we're off the air?
Les, troubled: ... No. But I can include that in my update.
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