You Can't go Out of Town Again

The Union
An Explosive Affair
Rumors
Straight from the Heart
Who's on First?
Three Days of the Condo
Jennifer and the Will
The Consultant
Love, Exciting and New
You Can't go out
of Town Again
Pills
Changes
Jennifer and Johnny's
Charity
I'll Take Romance
Fire
Dear Liar
Circumstantial Evidence
The Creation of Venus
The Impossible Dream
To Err is Human
Up and Down the Dial

Mr Carlson: It wasn't really an 'official' fraternity. Mother sort of rented this house for a bunch of us who couldn't get in.

Mr Carlson: Now Venus, I wouldn't want that story to get around.
Venus: Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.
Mr Carlson, disappointed: Oh.

Jennifer: Oh, Mr Carlson, you're acting silly again.
Mr Carlson: Oh, I'm sorry. I was going to try and stop that.

Jennifer: Now, you just forget about this 'Hunk' fellow and take Carmen to some romantic, out of the way, hideaway near campus, you know, someplace special and secret.
Mr Carlson, rather dreamily: The Eat and Sleep Motel.

Les's commentary on germs: German measles. Russian flu. Montezuma's revenge. And why do we say a foreign word whenever someone sneezes? Tomorrow I'll take a look at swine flu, up close and personal.

Les: When someone plays mind games with Les Nessman, they're walking on thin ice.
Except Les has a cold, so it comes out: Whed subwud plays mide gabes wit Les Dessmad, they're walkig od thid ice.

Mr Carlson: I've been in my office all morning, just hangin' it out.

Hunk: Say hello to the Moose, Fluff!
Fluffy: Heeeeeeey Moose!!
Motel Desk Clerk, sarcastically: Whee, a pep rally and I forgot my beanie!

Desk Clerk: Sign here. Check-out time is twelve o'clock, no drinking, no eating, no smoking, no loud parties, no loud television, we count the towels, twenty bucks in front, enjoy.

Hunk: She only made the date because we were on the dip list.
Mr Carlson You know, I brought a ... Huh?
Hunk: It was the same thing with Fluffy. It was part of their initiation. Oh come on, you knew that? What did you think, little Carmen was 'tracted to Moose?? Ha!! C'mon!

Jackie, getting caught in the booth with Venus: I'm Venus's psychiatrist.
Venus: What?
Andy: Really!
Jackie: And his hour was just up.
Venus: But what about my next appointment? I've got a lot to work out!
Jackie, shaking his hand: Call the office.

Mr Carlson to Carmen: To everybody else, I was always 'Moooooose.' To you, I was always Arthur.

Carmen: I didn't join that sorority, because...
Mr Carlson: Because you felt sorry for me.
Carmen: No! Because to get in I had to show up with a loser, a dip, a clown.
Mr Carlson: Thanks, Carmen!
Carmen: And one minute after you picked me up, I knew you were none of those things. You were for me.

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