You know, I'm not really black. I'm sort of cocoa brown.

A Family Affair

Baseball
Jennifer Falls in Love
Carlson for President
For Love or Money
Bad Risk
Put Up or Shut Up
Baby, If you've
Ever Wondered

Patter of Little Feet
God Talks to Johnny
Bailey's Big Break
Mike Fright
Les's Groupie
A Family Affair
Jennifer Home for Christmas
Sparky
The Americanization of Ivan
Herb's Dad
The Doctor's Daughter
Venus Rising
In Concert
Filthy Pictures
Most Improved Station


Johnny: It's 8:10 in the a.m., I told you the truth wouldn't help! That means it's wake-up time! Last call for meaningful employment! So you've just got time to jump out of your jammies, pour yourself a hot steaming cup of... (turns on a commercial)
Commercial:
Chemicals. What do they mean? How have they touched your life? (child's voice) Mommy, are these green pork chops still good?

Johnny: How can you do that? How can you put a dollar value on your sister's company? And, more importantly, how much?
Andy: Thirty bucks.
Johnny: What's wrong with your sister?

Johnny: What's she look like? Is she a ... large woman?
Andy: Well, she's cute, she's charming, she's fun company.
Johnny: Mm hmm. What's she look like?
Andy: Like me.
Johnny: $50.

Jennifer, explaining the buttons on the phone to Mr Carlson: This little red one down here is used to put people on hold - my personal favourite.

Mr Carlson: Jennifer, what if the call's for me?
Jennifer: Oh, don't be an old silly!
Mr Carlson: Sorry. I don't want to be an old silly.

Mr Carlson on the phone: Good morning, WKRP radio. I'm sorry, but Arthur Carlson isn't in. He's in Washington lunching with the head of the FCC. Sure it's silly, but that's where he is.

Venus: I don't play hits, I make them.
Andy: No, Venus, see, this is a Top 40 station. We play the hits.
Venus: What about Johnny, you talk to him?
Andy: I thought I'd talk to someone from our solar system first.

Les: Andy, Herb fell down and went boom.

Johnny: I have a date with your sister.
Andy: She's out with Venus.
Johnny: Uh huh. I usually date girls three times before they start dating other guys.
Andy: They're not "dating." They're lost.
Johnny: Oh no they're not. I've been blown out of the saddle again.

Andy: I had to do the first hour of your show!
Carol: We heard you, that's why we came over. Boy, do you stink!
Venus: You sound like Samurai Negro!

Venus: I know why you don't want me to go out with your sister.
Johnny, trying to avoid a fight: C'mon guys, why don't we sing? You know, a sing-a-long!
Andy: That's not the reason!
Venus: Oh yes it is!
Johnny, jumping and playing an imaginary guitar: Vivaaaa Las Vegas!

Johnny: Bigotry started a long time ago, nobody knows where. I think the French started it.

Venus: Do you think I'd want my sister to go out with that guy?
Johnny: What did I do?
Andy: Well, Venus, that's not race, that's just good taste!
Venus: You know, I'm not really black, I'm sort of cocoa brown. And you're beige. But that dude is white.
Johnny: I'm just pale.

Jennifer returns from her day off to find everyone injured.
Jennifer:
Johnny, what happened here yesterday?
Johnny: Andy's sister stopped by.
Bailey passes by dressed as a fish: Hello Jennifer, welcome back!
Jennifer: Thank you.

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