Baseball | (This is the teaser, pretty much in its entirety... it was good!) Mr Carlson: All right, the reason I called you all in here this morning is - darn it, let's just be frank. As you know I belong to the local Kiwanis Club. Johnny walks out. Door: SLAM! Mr Carlson: Now, granted that is an all-men's organization... Bailey walks out. Door: SLAM! Mr Carlson: While we didn't have - and still don't - a large minority membership, we... Venus walks out. Door: SLAM! Mr Carlson: Look, I would just like to say right here at the outset that if any of you people are in here just because I'm the boss, then I think you should leave, I just personally... Herb walks out. Door: SLAM! Les runs after him. Door: slam! (much quieter for Les) Jennifer and Andy are left. Mr Carlson: This year I have been made the chairman of the charity fashion show and bazaar. Travis! (Andy sits back down) And the theme this year is "Surf City USA." Jennifer: In Cincinnati, Ohio? Mr Carlson: Yes, And I was gonna ask everybody if he or she would participate in the fashion show as a model. Andy: A model? Mr Carlson: It's for a good cause! Jennifer: You'd like it! Andy: Oh, I don't know about that! Jennifer: Do it for Mr Carlson! Mr Carlson: I'd sure appreciate it Andrew. Jennifer: C'mon! Andy: Well okayjeez! Mr Carlson: Jennifer, I was hoping, very deeply in fact, that you would appear on our advertising poster. Jennifer: Well Mr Carlson, I - Andy, pleased: And why not, you'd like it! Jennifer: I'd have to think about it! Andy: What's to think? C'mon, do it for Mr Carlson. Mr Carlson: It'd just be you, Jennifer, and Andy, standing there in your bathing suits and waving. At the words "bathing suits" Andy's face goes back to "who, me??" Jennifer, pleased: I'll do it. Les interupts Johnny's show for a very important news bulletin.
Les: Bailey: How come the women are always doing the cheesecase, huh? It's about time we got to see a little beefcake. (Blows in Andy's ear)
Jennifer: Jennifer: Andy?
Andy: I'm not gonna frolic. Jennifer: Andy, I think we really do owe them a certain amount of frolic.
Mr Carlson: You're gonna sell those pictures to some cheap girly magazine??!!
Mr Carlson: This photographer of Herb's choosing somehow got some nude pictures of our Jennifer.
Venus: Well, what's he gonna do with them, sell them to some girly magazine or something?
Johnny: Well, I'm gonna suggest something ridiculous here... as usual it's one of my deeply bent ideas... I suggest it just so we can dismiss it quickly and move on to sounder ground. Nevertheless, why don't we Watergate it? Andy: If we get caught, we could go to jail.
Johnny: Why don't we turn on the overhead light?
Venus: That was close, I mean that was real close!
Andy: Boy, it's a good thing I keep an extra pair of jeans in my office. Mr Carlson: We committed a crime! I think what we should do is turn ourselves in.
Mr Carlson: You know those mattresses with the tags - "unlawful to remove"? It makes me nervous just to have those suckers in the house! Mr Carlson: A record? Have you got a record?
Jennifer: Have you been here all night?
Jennifer: How do you know?
Mr Carlson: I did the most foolish thing I've ever done in my life.
Jennifer: The photographer is gay.
Les: Wouldn't a man change his religion, so to speak, if you were, so to speak, the church?
Herb: Les, you're finally having that big mental breakdown we've all been waiting for. Herb: He's not gay, that's for sure. And I'll tell you something else - I am never ever doin' that again. I get enough rejection from women! Andy: Well, I'd like to just go right over and punch the guy out.
Johnny: Bailey, can you play like an aggressive, really straight-forward woman who's been around?
Bailey as Ginger: I will do this in my own fashion Philip!
Bailey: It'd be a smart investment, Mr Gonzer. Dupont, Xerox and Burger King have already invested!
Johnny: Johnny: The photos, the negatives, and $500. Cash.
Johnny: Ginger, I despise you. I always have, I always will. Jennifer, looking at the photos: Perfect. Choose an episode from the list on the left or |