Pilot | Officer, testing Johnny's reaction time: According to this, completely sober, he has the reaction time of a man who has had six vodka martinis. Herb: I'm a giant carp, Andy!
Les to Herb: I just always pictured you more as a blowfish. Herb: Hiya gorgeous, how about a couple of drinks after work?
Pig to Les: I sometimes listen to your news reports when I need a laugh or two. Pig: Get your fin off me!
Andy: You'll find basically this is a very professionally-run radio station.
Venus: I want a hat. I need a hat. Cop's got a hat, I need a hat too. Venus: Every now and then I get this uncontrollable urge to wear a hat. Reporter: Are you on the air?
Officer: This test has been given to hundreds of people! No one's ever got better!! Venus: Let's you and me swap hats. Officer: You have obviously built up a super-human tolerance to alcohol.
Johnny: All right fellow babies, that was the Doors, and this is sort of Johnny Fever, kind of Doctor. And after... nine drinks, Venus Flytrap is catatonic, and I myself have personally just seen a giant pig. He is currently painting the walls of our lobby.
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