Herb's Dad

Baseball
Jennifer Falls in Love
Carlson for President
For Love or Money
Bad Risk
Put Up or Shut Up
Baby, If you've
Ever Wondered
Patter of Little Feet
God Talks to Johnny
Bailey's Big Break
Mike Fright
Les's Groupie
A Family Affair
Jennifer Home
for Christmas
Sparky
The Americanization
of Ivan
Herb's Dad
The Doctor's Daughter
Venus Rising
In Concert
Filthy Pictures
Most Improved Station

Jennifer: Is there something I could do for you?
Mr Tarlek: I wouldn't touch that with a ten-foot pole.

Mr Tarlek: Okay fine. Don't listen to me, Jennipoo.
Jennifer: Jennipoo?
Mr Tarlek: I've only been in sales all my life.
Jennifer: Oh no. No wait - you're not - I mean - you're not - you you you you couldn't be - you can't --
Mr Tarlek: Herbert R. Tarlek, Senior.

Herb: In advertising, tasteless works.

Jennifer: Your dad is in the lobby.
Herb: Get outta here!
Jennifer: All right, then there's a man in the lobby with perfect teech claiming to be your father.
Mr Carlson: Why would somebody want to do that?

Mr Tarlek: Bailey Quarters. I should have known. You know, my son speaks about you all the time.
Bailey: He does?
Mr Tarlek: No, he doesn't, but he should. My son is a bit of a jerk.

Mr Tarlek, meeting Les: Les! Of course, Les. See a psychiatrist. Really. It's worth the money.

Mr Tarlek: I should have stayed in Vegas.
Herb: Why? You blew just about every dime you had on that waitress.
Mr Tarlek, dreamily: Oh yeah.

Les: I've often thought about putting Mother into a home. Her apartment seems so large now, what with her getting smaller all the time.

Mr Tarlek: It takes courage to be old - that about sums it up.

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