Pilot | Les: It's not as easy as it looks, Andy. Andy: Oh, I know. Les: Weather's tough. Johnny: Four months ago, I was sleeping in a van. It's not my van, I don't care! Herb's commercial for a pet store: Big Snake Sale! Sssssave! Sssssave! Sssssave! Pick and choossssse! Mix and match, everything'sssss marked down! Thessssse marvelous petsssss are quiet and refined. Rid your house of rodentsssss and unwanted baby chicks, ssssstartle your friendsssss today! Andy: Mr Carlson, we have got big trouble.
Herb at the company dinner: Honest, Andy, I thought we were supposed to bring wives. Herb: I went to a costume party once, but it wasn't. Everybody else was in their regular clothes and I was in the rabbit suit. Mason Noble: Let's go grab some lunch.
Jennifer: I'm sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to show you something.
Johnny: Remember, Red Wigglers, the Cadillac of worms. Available in fine worm shops everywhere. Andy finds Johnny sleeping on his couch.
Johnny: It's, uh, foot powder, Mr Carlson.
Mr Carlson: D'ya really think this stuff'll work?
Doug Winner: What d'ya think he'll do with it?
Mr Carlson: Oh come on now, ease off, Travis - I have a little Coke every now and then. Doug: I accepted a couple of small gifts from him, but Andy, everybody does it!
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