The Union | Les: Experts predict that within this century the rutabaga will disappear from the national diet. Johnny: No. Les: And why, you ask? Johnny: Why? Les: Consumer disinterest, apathy, and, in some cases, believe it or not, open contempt. Johnny: NO! Les: How have we arrived at this pretty pass? Johnny: Tell us, Lester! Les: Listen all this week for my five-part, gloves-off, no-holds-barred commentary, "Rutabaga, the Vanishing Vegetable"!! Johnny: Say halleluiah, brother, I believe! Les: Halleluiah! Now the Johnny Fever radio broadcast! Johnny: Amen and thank you Lester Nessman, patron saint of the perpetually strange here on WKRP. Johnny: Do you know that they are clubbing baby rutabagas for their skins? Andy: Les, your stories always seem to have a kind of a, uh... how shall I put this?
Herb's "Convention Kit Checklist":
Bailey: Then I'll be able to write my story and solve your problem.
Les, reading Bailey's story: My tour of the wards was something I'll not soon forget. Everywhere I looked were young faces, filled with promise that will not be realized, dreams that will never come true. But the event that summed up the experience for this reporter came as I was about to leave. I felt a tug on my skirt - at - at - at my shirt - and looked down into the face of a little boy named Bobby. He's ten years old, and unable to speak, but he reached up and he handed me a picture he had drawn, a crude rendering of a flower... For in this primitive drawing, Bobby had managed to convey a sense of the true beauty that dwells within his soul. Speaking as someone who someday hopes to bear children - to bear children on my shoulders, men do that you know! - I would like to say that I'll never forget little Bobby, and I'll cherish his flower always. Andy: While we're on the subject of journalistic integrity, I want you to go to your desk, get out your dictionary, and look up the word "plagiarism."
Bailey: I went down there expecting to see little kids with high temperatures and casts on their arms. I saw a four year old burn victim. I saw a six year old girl with leukemia. I saw a little boy who was allergic to his own skin!
Andy: Andy: You screwed up. Around here that makes you normal. Andy: Bailey? You ever do that again, you'll be the best-looking reporter on the unemployment line.
Johnny: He said he was through with vegetable stories forever.
Les: It's difficult to describe the feelings this reporter had as he walked through the pens. I felt a tug on my pantleg, and I looked down into the face of Harold, a little razorback hog, blind since birth! Choose an episode from the list on the left or |