I'll go down to City Hall and see which way the wind's blowing.

Mike Fright

Baseball
Jennifer Falls in Love
Carlson for President
For Love or Money
Bad Risk
Put Up or Shut Up
Baby, If you've
Ever Wondered

Patter of Little Feet
God Talks to Johnny
Bailey's Big Break
Mike Fright
Les's Groupie
A Family Affair
Jennifer Home
for Christmas
Sparky
The Americanization
of Ivan

Herb's Dad
The Doctor's Daughter
Venus Rising
In Concert
Filthy Pictures
Most Improved Station


Johnny, reading Les's news: In Washington, congress reconvenes, and in the USSR... (The next sheet of paper is blank) in the USSR people remain poorly dressed and rather hard-headed. Here in Cincinnati, the garbage strike moves into its fifth consecutive week. Stay tuned for this and all the news at nine straight up. You know, this garbage strike business is starting to rot my brain. Maybe if City Hall won't come to take your garbage, you should take your garbage to City Hall, and leave it on the steps as a sort of a love-offering.

Johnny: You just talk into the mike and your voice goes out through the wires, and once a week, whether you need it or not, somebody comes in here and gives you a check for $38.
Bailey: Don't you ever get scared, you know, like, get stage fright?
Johnny: Well, I'll tell you a secret, Bailey. If you ever find yourself on the air, and you feel a little nervous, just imagine that you're speaking to one specific person. Which in fact is probably the case here.

Herb: Mr Prebonski is a patriotic man. He will only advertise with us if we play a certain record after each of his commercials.
Mr Carlson: What record?
Herb: The national anthem.
Mr Carlson: Herb, I think this guy's about a dime short.
Andy: If we play the national anthem, people are gonna think we're signing off the air!
Herb: Or that a football game is about to begin.

Jennifer: Over the last hour and a half , approximately a hundred people have dumped their garbage on the steps of City Hall.
Andy: Why?
Mr Carlson: Don't tell, Jennifer, don't tell why.
Jennifer: Because Johnny Fever told them to.
Mr Carlson: There, you see? You told why.

Mr Carlson: Herb, could you slip out and see if you can get one of those small grey Italian pistols?
Herb: Gotcha.
Andy: He's kidding, Herb.
Herb: I knew that.
Jennifer: No you didn't.
Herb: I did too!

Andy: Now the main thing is we gotta keep as low profile as possible on this. Don't say anything, and certainly don't say a word about it on the air!
Les, in the background: This is Les Nessman with a special news bulletin! Garbage holocaust brings city to its knees!

Les: One thing is certain, this dark Wednesday will live in infamy!
Johnny: Thursday, Les.
Les: Thursday.

Elgar Neice, the lawyer: I think you'd better stay, Miss Marlowe.
Jennifer: Why?
Elgar: ... No reason.
Jennifer: Okay.

Elgar: In the meantime, I'll go down to City Hall and see which way the wind's blowing.

Johnny, on some other guy who froze up: He's spinning disco in some club in Far Rockaway. I can't spin disco, Venus, I can't do it, not disco, man - I mean, I'd rather sell vaccum cleaners door to door, they make better music!

Bailey: Just pretend you're talking to one person. A friend. Me.
Johnny: Okay.
Bailey: That's how you told me to do it. Now you do it.
Johnny: Okay, I'll give it a try.
Bailey: Just talk to me.
Johnny: This is, uh, your Doctor speaking. Hello, and good afternoon Cincinnati. I sure would like to take you home and kiss you all over in the dark.

Johnny: Attention fellow babies. If you're driving around out there with your car full of garbage right now, and you were on your way to City Hall, the Doctor feels kind of responsible for that. So why don't you cruise on by the mayor's home? Or maybe the Union chief's home? We'll get those addresses for you real soon so you can find 'em real easy. The point is, if your trash comes flying out on the lawn, it could be an accident, or it could be a political statement! My point here is, we don't have to take this garbage anymore!
Andy, entering Mr Carlson's office: Mr Carlson! Sir, I'd like you to hear what a good dear friend of yours is doing to help you. (He turns on the radio, and we hear...)
Johnny:
I'll tell you something else, we oughta all stop paying our utility bills! What's the utility company gonna do, close its doors? And let's talk about the telephone!
Andy: Never mind.

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