Nothing to Fear But...

The Airplane Show
Jennifer Moves
Real Families
Hotel Oceanview
The Baby
Bah, Humbug
A Mile in My Shoes
Baby, It's Cold Inside
The Painting
Daydreams
Frog Story
Dr Fever and Mr Tide
Venus and the Man
Ask Jennifer
I am Woman
Secrets of Dayton Heights
Out to Lunch
A Simple Little Wedding
Nothing to Fear But...
Till Debt do us Part
Clean up Radio Everywhere

Johnny: Say WKRP-ites, it's that lucky KRP "win a keen portable radio" time, with yours truly insert name here. I tell you what, babies, I'm just gonna level with you. We've got about fifty of these hundred-pound body-builder model portable radios. And you put 'em up on your shoulder, and you wander into a crowd of people who have no interest in your musical taste, and they'll part like the Red Sea. We're really looking to unload 'em quick. So anybody who recognizes at least three of the many obscene words in this next tune, give me a call and you could staggar out of here with one of those in your hand, if you can carry it.

Johnny, on the phone: Andy! What are you doing up at 5:07? Just listening, huh? Great, how do I sound? Well, congratulations, by your very words I think you've won yourself a radio, pal!

Les: Johnny, my space has been violated!
Johnny: Congratulations! It's about time!

Les: Somebody must have jimmied the lock!
Johnny, looking at Les's office: Jimmied it? I think they took the whole door!

Jennifer: I'm afraid they, uh, they took all of your hobby equipment too.
Mr Carlson: What?
Jennifer: Your toys.

Les: I wonder why they didn't steal any of my awards.
Bailey: I don't know Les. Now, what was taken?
Les: Here. The Silver Sow alone is invaluable. The fools!

Venus: Well, nothing's missing from my desk.
Johnny: Yep, I'm okay too.
Les: Interesting. And neither of you allegedly heard anything last night.
Bailey: Now what does that mean, Les?
Les: Just that it's ... interesting.
Herb: C'mon Les, Johnny's no thief. He's a bum! Venus wouldn't do it because he'd be the first person we'd suspect!
Venus: Very sensitive of you, Herb.

Herb, finding his mirror gone from its accordian: That settles it. This citizen's angry!

Mr Carlson: Like my mother has said on numerous occasions, the least you can do is try to act normal!

Mr Carlson: I guess you know why I ordered this system, Jennifer.
Jennifer: Certainly not because you're surrendering to urban paranoia.
Mr Carlson: No! No, no.
Jennifer: And not because it's just a great big fun toy.
Mr Carlson: No?
Jennifer: You installed it because it's a reasonable response to an unreasonable situation.

Johnny: Looks like a fun toy!
Mr Carlson: Well, it isn't! That happens to be an unreasonable response to a reasonable situation!

Herb to Johnny: Where's your name tag?
Jennifer: He ate it. I saw him.

Johnny: Herb told me something today in the strictest of confidence.
Venus: He's got a gun in his desk.
Johnny: He said I was the only one he told!
Venus: I heard about it from Les.

Herb: Excuse me, Big Guy. I've got two real agency VIPs and they want to talk to the man in charge!
Mr Carlson: Well!
Herb: Have you seen Andy? ... Did I say Andy? I meant Arty. May I call you Arty?

Andy: You aimed that at me! At me!! No DJ has ever pointed a gun at me before! Not at any station I've ever worked! Oh sure, I mean, we've had some problems before, but...

Les, seeing Andy's guest: Oh, well! Woo woo woo!

Stella: Well, Andrew was just showing me his office. Do all these people work for you?
Mr Carlson: Andy? Mr Travis. I suggest that you have one of your employees get a record on the air. You may be forced to fire your program director.

Les: I've been expecting the downfall of modern society.
Venus: I think you missed it, Les, it already happened.
Mr Carlson: That could be the case, Venus. However, I refuse to give up faith in my fellow man.
Jennifer, entering: Well, here's where everybody's hiding. I really hope you're in the mood for a surprise.
Mr Carlson: I don't think so, and I think I can speak for everybody.
Jennifer, cheerfully: Too bad! While you were all up here doing heaven knows what, downstairs at the party, somebody took off with all the coats and purses! (She laughs)
Mr Carlson: Oh, jeez! We've got nobody to blame but ourselves! (Herb enters) And on the other hand...

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