The Airplane Show
Jennifer Moves
Real Families
Hotel Oceanview
The Baby
Bah, Humbug
A Mile in My Shoes
Baby, It's Cold Inside
The Painting
Daydreams
Frog Story
Dr Fever and Mr Tide
Venus and the Man
Ask Jennifer
I am Woman
Secrets of Dayton Heights
Out to Lunch
A Simple Little Wedding
Nothing to Fear But...
Till Debt do us Part
Clean up Radio Everywhere |
Les: I was visiting my mother.
Bailey: Oh, that's nice, how is she?
Les: Even smaller, I'm afraid.
Bailey: Well, I'm sorry.
Les: We had lunch together. You know, it's very disconcerting to have those two little eyes peering up at you from table level.
Herb: I'm going to go sit at my desk, and I'm gonna stare at you for as long as it takes. Soon, Les, the guilt will be more than you can take. soon, Les, it'll begin to knaw at your insides. Soon, Les, you'll feel a sense of fairness which will compel you to do the right thing. And soon, Les, you'll beg me to release you from your guilt and sin.
Les pretends to cower under the desk, his little eyes peering up from table level. Apparently he's trying to disconcert Herb.
Jennifer: You? You bought a painting?
Herb: That's right, Jennipoo.
Jennifer: And do I see a bullfighter emblazened across a field of black velvet?
Herb: Unfortunately, no, it's one of those oil things. But what the heck, it's for a good cause.
Jennifer: I didn't know you were interested in art, Herb.
Herb: There are a lot of things you don't know about me, baby.
Jennifer: I know, and thank you.
Mr Carlson: I'll give you $50 if you get out of my office right now, $20 if you're still here twenty seconds from now, and $10 if we're face to face a minute from now.
Herb: Bailey, Bailey Bailey Bailey, "You can have it" is just a figure of speech. People say it all the time. It doesn't mean anything. It's like "Thanks a million" or "So's your mother."
Bailey: It's my painting Herb, thanks a million.
Herb: I really don't believe you. I just don't believe you. You come in here every morning in your freshly pressed outfits and your freshly scrubbed face, and you sit there all day hardly speaking above a whisper, and then, when a man is vulnerable, shaken, upset, you just reach out and rip from him what is rightfully and fairly his. Bailey, I'm just so, so disappointed.
Bailey: Herb, so's your mother.
Bailey: Don't you just love the shading and the colour of the flowers? (No response from Venus or Johnny) Don't you just hate the shading and the colour of the flowers?
Bailey: He gave me the painting, now he's trying to steal it back.
Herb: That's right, and I can't think of a thing that's gonna stop me.
Venus: How about the four of us beating you to dust?
Herb: You do, and I'll see you in court.
Venus: We don't care.
Herb runs away hyperventilating, on his way out, to Bailey: Can I speak privately with you in the hall?
Bailey: Nope.
Herb: All right.
Herb: The painting's yours. I'll just - I'll just buy it back for $300.
Bailey: No! I like the painting, you don't. I want it. I want admire it. It makes me feel good.
Herb: 400.
Bailey: No, you don't understand! Not everything in this world is for sale! Not everything is commerce!
Herb: $500!
Bailey: All right. Deal.
Herb: 500's too much.
Bailey: You shouldn't take fifty, Les, the painting's worth 500 now. Herb owes you half of that.
Herb: What's a stroke feel like?
Herb: Her son did it. He paints a painting a day, because he's in prison for selling quayludes.
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