The Airplane Show | Jennifer: It's just a game! Herb, losing at Monopoly: Oh sure it is to you, you're rich! You've got all the properties, you've got the race car. I've got the wheelbarrow, and I haven't passed 'go' in two hours! So don't tell me! Jennifer: Give me the money, Herb. Herb: I haven't got it! I've got eighteen dollars! Everything's mortgaged! Bailey: Well, then, you're out! Herb: Out? I can't just go out. Come on, give me a break. Jennifer: You're bankrupt, Herb. Herb: Please? Jennifer: What can I do? Bailey: Well, we could play Strip Monopoly. You could give us your coat, Herb. Herb: What? Jennifer: Good. I'll take the coat. Bailey: Guess what item of apparel is next. Jennifer: Wooo! Herb: This is what women's liberation is all about? Humiliation? Bailey: No. We just heard you had great legs. Herb: Oh. Who told you? Bailey: Les. (Herb walks out.) Mr Carlson: Hersh practically raised me.Carmen: I know, Arthur. Mr Carlson: I remembering saying, 'Hersh, let's go out and throw that ball around.' Hersh, old Hersh, he'd say, 'Oh, maybe later, Mr Carlson.' Carmen: It's hard to beat a memory like that. Mrs Carlson: How have you been, Carmen? Tell me. I like you. Mrs Carlson: You know, twenty-five years, or whatever it was, was a long time ago. I've mellowed since then. Mr Carlson: Herb, I wouldn't want a bachelor party. It's the last thing in the world I want. I'd kill somebody who gave me a bachelor party.
Herb: Meanwhile, at the shower...
Hersh: Excuse me, Mrs Carlson, but your husband is outside standing in the bushes. He's asked me to ask you if you'd care to elope with him. Mr Carlson turns on the TV to find pornography playing. He quickly turns it off again.
Carmen: Arthur, there's a machine in the bathroom that sells things. Herb: I just want to say that I went to a great deal of time and trouble to throw you a party. And you just walked out, ran away! And now I understand that there's not even going to be a wedding! Even though I've already arranged to rent a red plaid crushed velour tuxedo with tails! Shows you what I get for caring so much. Thanks a lot, sir. (He storms off)
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